Marni 0:00

Hey hotties. Thanks for joining us on Bitches in Heat Podcast. This is part one of our first season finale, bitching about brain fog with Amber and Jen of Neighbors Neighboring, which first aired on October 13th, 2026. Part two will be aired on October 20th, 2026. And be sure to check out the two of us on the podcast Modern Menopause this week as well, where we discuss why it's so important to laugh our way through this time in our lives. And now, on with the show! Welcome, everyone, to Bitches in Heat! A podcast where middle-aged hotties bitch about perimenopause, menopause, and the shit that surrounds it.

Dom 0:32

There will be swearing, so maybe wear headphones if you've got little ones around, but please do grab a glass of your favorite beverage, besties...

Marni 0:33

I'm Marni...

Dom 0:54

And I'm Dom. And today for our final episode of season one...

Marni and Dom 1:00

Woo!

Dom 1:02

We're bitching about brain fog.

Marni 1:04

Yearrrrrrgh! Just to be clear, we are not medical professionals, and our advice should not be construed as such.

Dom 1:12

So if you have any medical questions, please go see your OB/GYN or even better, your menopause specialist and tell them we sent you.

Marni 1:23

Yes. Brain fog is such a huge topic. And it's like, oh my God, it's so frustrating for many of us middle-aged gals. We thought, you know what? First of all, before we do that, for anybody who hasn't been here before, who are we and what are we drinking?

Dom 1:41

Oh God, who are we and what are we drinking? Well, I am Dom. I am going to be 44 years old on Monday.

Marni 1:50

Woohoo! Happy birthday.

Dom 1:52

Eeeee! Thank you. And I am in the middle of perimenopause. And I actually just picked up my estrogen patches today.

Marni 2:01

Yeeeeeessss! Congratulations! That's so exciting!

Dom 2:01

My very first estrogen patches. Because I'll be starting those this weekend. I'm very excited. I learned a new trick on how to get that -- filled if you are in one of the areas where they are struggling to get those prescriptions filled. My pr-- my -- pharmacist gave me a little tidbit.

Marni 2:18

Are you gonna share it now or later?

Dom 2:19

Yeah, I'll share it now. So essentially, my -- my doctor had prescribed the patch to be the one that's once a week. And he said that that is the one that is most readily not-- most not available. Grammar. What's grammar?

Marni 2:37

[nonsense words]

Dom 2:37

So he told me to go back to my provider and ask her to prescribe the one that's *twice* a week...

Marni 2:44

Oooh!

Dom 2:46

for the same-- at the same strength. So it's a little bit more annoying that you have to change it more than once a week, but you get the prescription filled. So it was...

Marni 2:59

Yeah. And that's important, right?

Dom 3:00

Yeah. And so it was either that or... and that was for the generic. Or if you're willing to pay for name brand, he said most insurances are declining name brand. I think some people are able to get their -- doctors to write a specific note, a request, so you can get insurance to cover it, but it doesn't always work. So you do-- you do run the chance of having to pay out of pocket for the name brand stuff.

Marni 3:29

Wow, that's good to know. Thank you for sharing that. -- what are you drinking?

Dom 3:33

I am drinking red wine.

Marni 3:36

Oh, how nice! Is it from the corner?

Dom 3:39

It is from the corner store. I ever get-- I get all of my booze at the corner store. And I make it sound like it's like some like rundown little seedy corner store. It is actually like a wicked bougie corner store that we have.

Marni 3:52

[laughs] That's awesome! I love it.

Dom 3:53

It's like you go in there, like cereal costs like eight dollars. It's--

Marni 3:57

Whoa!

Dom 3:57

it's so bougie. It's so bougie. Cause we live in a semi-bougie town. We don't live in a bougie house, but the town we're in is semi-bougie.

Marni 4:05

Oh, good to know. Oh my gosh.

Dom 4:07

Oh, and fun fact, we're supposed to do a fun fact.

Marni 4:09

Oh, yes, fun fact.

Dom 4:10

So, my fun fact is within the last 10 years, I have shit myself four times.

Marni 4:22

Oh my gosh! [both laugh hysterically] Are you gonna tell that story now or later?

Dom 4:22

I'll save that. I'll save it. We've already been talking about me for long enough. Marni, who are you? Tell us about you.

Marni 4:27

My name is Marni, and I am already -- I'm past my menopause date, and -- I wanted to show you something. I bought white pants!

Dom 4:38

Yesssssssss!

Marni 4:40

We have a thing where like once you get past menopause, you can have a white pants party. And these are really nice white pants. As a matter of fact, they're so white, they're blowing out my camera. But --, I haven't, the tags are still on them. I haven't even tried them on yet, but--

Dom 4:53

Yessss.

Marni 4:53

they are like stain resistant and everything. And I know I won't be making certain stains on them cause I'm in menopause. Post-menopausal, thank you very much. And what I'm drinking today is spiced rum and pineapple juice.

Dom 5:07

Ooh, that sounds lovely.

Marni 5:10

Because spiced rum is all we had in the house, so I needed to make it-- [laughs] I needed to make it delicious.

Dom 5:15

It's-- it just makes me think of being on a tropical vacation.

Marni 5:19

Yes, and -- my fun fact is that -- I started going gray at 24. And I just stopped-- at 41, I stopped-- when I had my kiddo, I stopped dyeing my hair. And I was like, should I go full Jamie Lee Curtis? And everyone's like, do it, do it.

Dom 5:38

Your hair is the most beautiful color though.

Marni 5:40

Thank you.

Dom 5:40

It is so gorgeous.

Marni 5:41

--under the hat right now. But thank you. That's awesome. Well, you know what? Brain fog, as we were saying, is such a big and frustrating topic for many of us middle-aged gals, we thought we should bring in a couple of extra hotties to join the bitch sesh today.

Dom 5:54

Woot woot, we need some backup! So--

Marni 5:56

All right!

Dom 5:57

Please welcome the absolutely fabulous Jen and Amber from the hilarious podcast Neighbors Neighboring.

Marni 6:06

Woohoo! There they are!

Dom 6:06

Woooooo!

Marni 6:09

Hello, Amber and Jen! Anyway, I'll move Amber over here. Amber and Jen, there we go. How are you? Well, I was just gonna say Neighbors Neighboring is a comedy lifestyle podcast where the real life neighbors, Amber and Jen, turn everyday suburban chaos into the group chat you actually want to be in. Rooted in Mount Lebanon, just outside Pittsburgh, but relatable anywhere, Amber and Jen overanalyze the low-stakes drama happening close to home: neighborhood etiquette crimes, local characters, wellness rabbit holes, beauty myths, parking debacles, party post mortems, fashion confusion, and the tiny social mysteries that somehow deserve a full investigation. Warm, witty, and unapologetically opinionated ( but never mean) Neighbors Neighboring is proof that you don't have to be famous to be fascinating, and that the best reality TV is often unfolding right next door. So thank you so much for being here, Amber and Jen!

Dom 7:00

Yaaaaaaay!

Amber 7:01

Thank you so much for having us. That was a beautiful read, Marni.

Marni 7:05

Aw, thank you, I--

Amber 7:07

It's like you do this--

Marni 7:08

[laughs] I play one on TV. [All laugh] So we're so happy that you both are here. So thanks for joining us.

Jen 7:15

Thanks for having us!

Dom 7:17

So before we start talking about brain fog, we have what we like to call the "Hot Seat" for when we have guests join us in the pod. So we just have a couple questions to help us and our listeners get to know you a little bit more.

Marni 7:33

Yes. So tell us more about Neighbors Neighboring. What is your podcast origin story?

Amber 7:39

So our neighborhood is super, super tight. We do more than the average get together for happy hour on a Friday. There are events all the time. We're talking murder mystery parties, Christmas caroling, progressive dinners. You know, it is--

Marni 7:52

Ah!

Amber 7:52

it is actually quite the social calendar.

Marni 7:54

Oh my gosh!

Amber 7:54

And you'd be quite amazed as to how many people get together. And Christmas 2024, Jen and I were at a Christmas caroling party. We looked around at-- I have to say it had to have been at least 25 neighbors. I said to her, "Look at all these neighbors neighboring."

Marni 8:10

[laughs]

Amber 8:10

And we thought, what a great name for a podcast. So we started to socialize it, and Jen and I had been talking a little bit about getting together. And we really wanted to celebrate the fact that you just don't know who's next door, and they could really become your best friend. And Jen and I actually knew each other from a long time ago. We'd been neighbors for a long time, but never got together until post-COVID. We started getting out and getting together more, and that's really kind of when our whole neighborhood became a lot more tight-knit. So we wanted to have something to celebrate being together in person versus being behind a screen with-- because we had been for so long.

Marni 8:50

Mm-hmm.

Amber 8:50

And that's really kind of how this all started. And our show evolved.

Jen 8:54

It has. It has evolved a lot.

Amber 8:56

It really has. I mean, we do a lot of sharing of neighborhood stories and stuff. But a lot of it is just Jen and I bantering back and forth. It's two girlfriends getting together. It's like sitting down, having a glass of wine, having a cup of coffee, and just hanging out with your friends.

Marni 9:12

That's awesome. And it's so much fun to watch.

Dom 9:14

Mm-hmm.

Marni 9:14

I love your snippets on social media. It's just so much fun. And the production values are through the roof. Who sets that up for you?

Jen 9:22

It's all her.

Marni 9:23

Oh, nice!

Dom 9:24

It's so good!

Marni 9:26

It's really good.

Amber 9:27

Yeah, I'm in the studio right now, so...

Marni 9:30

Ooh!

Amber 9:31

It's a-- it's a cool place to function. I just converted one of our bedrooms into our studio. And yeah,

Marni 9:36

It's really nice.

Amber 9:36

just-- cause we're gonna make it fancy and fun and the best it can be.

Marni 9:40

That is really fun.

Jen 9:41

What do they say? We're "full ass" people. We don't half- ass it.

Marni 9:47

[Huge laugh] I love it!

Dom 9:50

Yes.

Jen 9:50

When people are like, well, what do you do and what does Amber do? I mean, we don't have any outside help at all--

Marni 9:56

Oh my gosh!

Jen 9:56

--in any aspect of the podcast. That happens for the podcast between the two of us. And I say Amber handles all major production quality and I handle like minor production.

Marni and Dom 10:05

[laughter]

Amber 10:06

She's the more social media person.

Marni 10:09

Ah! That's awesome.

Jen 10:10

Because I work in marketing. And yeah, I've got the socials, the email newsletter, you know, sometimes the words, but -- but the audio and video quality is all to Amber's credit.

Marni 10:18

Oh, it's fantastic. That's amazing. It looks like you have an entire like team behind the scenes, but it's just you two. That's really well done.

Dom 10:26

It's so fancy.

Amber 10:27

We operate like a billion-dollar podcast.

Marni 10:30

[laughs] It is! It is a billion-dollar podcast!

Amber 10:31

With a million followers or... 500.

Jen 10:36

One day! She tells me every day.

Marni 10:38

You know, it's totally worth it. So if you're watching now and you haven't checked out Neighbors Neighboring, totally do that.

Dom 10:43

Do it.

Marni 10:44

Cheers.

Dom 10:44

So-- important question. What are you drinking?

Amber 10:49

Jen, what are you drinking?

Jen 10:51

I think we both have the same -- what do we call it? Make, but the model will be different. I'm drinking the Insta -famous Grazi no - sugar red wine. Yeah, Amber-- Amber knows wine. What's in her glass is gonna be impressive.

Marni and Dom 11:03

Oooh!

Marni 11:03

What?

Jen 11:03

But I will say these little bottles are pretty delightful. It's like it's very drinkable. I'm like embarrassed to offer to somebody that comes to the house. So... So I drink it by myself. Um, it's like Italian-- it's like Italian table wine is sort of the vibe. And it's, you know, it's drinkable, unpretentious.

Marni 11:18

I would drink it.

Jen 11:19

And I think we're just calling it red at this point. Yeah.

Dom 11:22

I'll --

Marni 11:22

I don't think--

Dom 11:23

I'm going to be looking that up because that sounds actually fantastic to me.

Amber 11:28

You order it online, right, Jen?

Jen 11:30

Yeah, yeah. We we have like a whole episode, well, like a segment, about how we get sold stuff on Instagram.

Marni 11:37

Totally.

Jen 11:38

It was on my thing, and they really just got me with the zero sugar, which threw us into a whole discussion about like, is there any sugar? Like, what's the sugar situation in wine?

Marni 11:47

Yeah.

Jen 11:47

But they got me on that side of it. So, you know...

Marni 11:49

That's really good because I can't have like normal sugars, like I can have fructose, hence the you know, the -- the pineapple juice, but I can-- I can't have like sh-- added sugars. So that's really good to know. Thank you for that.

Amber 12:02

Fun fact most wine does not have added sugar.

Marni 12:05

Good to know.

Amber 12:06

We can get into that, yeah.

Jen 12:08

They're just taking what is a-- a standard reality and using it for marketing.

Marni 12:14

[laughs] I love it. That's awesome. And Amber, what about you?

Amber 12:17

I too am drinking wine. What I really love though is that all three of us are drinking wine out of a different vessel.

Marni 12:24

Yes!

Dom 12:25

Look at us!

Amber 12:25

And they all work fabulously well.

Marni 12:27

Cheers. Cheers in the middle.

Amber 12:29

I'm drinking a 2021 Pangloss Optimist Society Cuvee, which is a lovely blend from Sonoma, California. And yes, I am a full-on snobby snob.

Marni 12:39

 [laughs]

Jen 12:41

I love being Amber's friend because I get nice drinks out of it, funny conversation, my husband agrees with everything she says, so I have a back channel to just like getting good ideas through.

Dom 12:51

 [laughs]

Marni 12:52

Amazing.

Jen 12:52

There's nothing-- she has all the high standards going on, so it's fine. Wine notes, she is-- she's your gal. We did a wine tasting at her house.

Amber 12:59

It was fantastic.

Jen 13:01

And this Pan gloss is like amazing. So...

Marni 13:03

All right!

Dom 13:04

I'm just gonna, you know, throw out there mayb-- maybe the Bitches come to the Neighbors, but we come to your neighbor*hood*.

Marni 13:13

I would like that very much.

Amber 13:14

I got two chairs and two more microphones ready for your asses.

Marni 13:18

Eeee! Yes! Our asses will be there.

Amber 13:21

Yeah, you just can't shit in it, Dom.

Marni 13:24

[hysterical laughter]

Amber 13:25

Yeah, we totally heard everything you guys were saying when we were waiting to come on.

Marni and Dom 13:30

[laughter]

Jen 13:30

Yeah, we-- we could hear everything. Yeah.

Dom 13:33

Look, the first time, I ate four tofu hot dogs--

Marni 13:38

[Gasps]

Dom 13:38

--and then cheesecake, and...

Marni 13:42

Oooh...

Dom 13:42

That was-- that was the mistake. The other times I think I was like, well, I was on Doxy cyclene.

Amber 13:47

That will *tear you up.* That will tear you UP!

Dom 13:47

Have you ever been on that?

Marni 13:49

Not in a long time.

Dom 13:49

It makes you shit yourself!

Marni 13:51

Oh.

Dom 13:52

Yeah. So, I mean, I think honestly, I think it's just the first one that was really my fault.

Marni and Dom 13:58

[laughter]

Amber 14:00

Four tofu hot dogs is a crime.

Marni 14:03

Oooooh, yeah, so... yeah...

Dom 14:05

I had never had one. Hot dogs are what I had missed most since I'd become a vegetarian. I was very excited to have a-- have a vessel for relish. [laughter] So I just--

Marni 14:18

I mean, yeah, to be fair, yeah.

Dom 14:20

I don't have a lot of self-control.

Marni and Dom 14:23

[laughter]

Marni 14:23

So now that we've got your drinks down, where are you both in your perimenopause-menopause journeys?

Amber 14:28

I am in menopause. So I'm at the ripe old age of 51.

Marni 14:33

Woot woot!

Amber 14:34

I didn't really know. So like it'll be maybe not unique, but something people can relate to. I had a hysterectomy seven years ago, so that some of that telltale signs of someone going into menopause aren't that obvious for someone like me. I still have my ovaries, but I don't have my uterus...

Marni 14:53

Oooh, yeah.

Amber 14:53

and I don't have my cervix and fallopian tubes. So I didn't know. I didn't really know what was going on. I realized in February of this year, -- I ended up getting a frozen shoulder.

Marni 15:07

Ugh!

Jen 15:08

I like "this part" of it.

Marni 15:09

I know. Air quotes for those of you who are just listening to it.

Amber 15:12

And-- I was like, holy fuck. Oh, sorry, can I cuss?

Dom 15:17

Oh, yeah.

Marni 15:18

You can -- we are swear all the time. Yes, please. Fuck-- fuckin' swear away.

Marni and Dom 15:22

[laughter]

Amber 15:24

Like, and a lot of other things started happening kind of to my body, and I was like, "Ohhhhhhhh, *that's* what this is.

Marni 15:32

Yeaaaaaaaah. Yeah.

Amber 15:35

*That's* what this is. Yeah. Oh, I'm sorry that you're going through the frozen shoulder-- Yeah. That's where I is.

Marni 15:41

--that suuuuuucks.

Amber 15:41

Thank you. It sucks.

Marni 15:42

What about you, Jen?

Jen 15:44

I am -- I'm in the birthday camp, so I will be 44 tomorrow.

Marni 15:48

[gasp] Happy birthday!

Dom 15:48

We're the same age!

Marni 15:50

Yes!

Jen 15:51

Yeah, the same age. And I'm-- I mean, I-- I don't feel like this. I don't know. I guess... talking about this part of your life is a little like TMI anyway.

Marni 15:58

There's no TMI here. Go for it.

Jen 16:00

I've been on hormonal birth control for a really, really long time. And I've talked to my-- I talked to my OB/GYN about what-- I get vicious hormonal migraines. I take like a bazillion drugs for the migraines. And the birth control that I'm on allows me to go longer without periods. And so I talked to her at one point because I was like--

Dom 16:18

Mm-hmm...

Jen 16:18

--I feel like I'm starting to get the-- maybe two years ago or something, I feel like I'm starting to maybe like glimmers of perimenopause symptoms. Well, and they don't show up every day, you know, it's kind of like gaining or losing weight. It's like you don't really notice one way or the other until you stop, you know, a long time from then. You're like, oh, we've made all this progress on this thing.

Marni 16:40

Yeah.

Jen 16:40

She-- what she had said to me, which I'm not incredibly informed on, she was like, you know, the first, the first kind of course of things that we would do would be to look at estrogen of some sort to use that. And then she's like, You're already basically on the treatment for early perimenopause by being on this hormonal birth control that you're on anyway. Like we're kind of getting the same stuff that we would probably prescribe you, just like a slightly different format. And if we take you off your birth control, we're probably gonna have a return of like some pretty intense migraine symptoms all the time. So I'm still on that, which I joke-- I'm like, "Everything down there is so old, I can't imagine there was anything to worry about." [all laugh]

Marni 17:17

That's where "whoops babies" happen in your 40s, just-- just so you know.

Jen 17:21

Yeah, we don't need to. We're, I--

Amber 17:24

Mm-hmm.

Jen 17:24

We're childless by choice in our household, so I-- we don't want to take that risk.

Amber 17:29

Mm-mm. [no]

Jen 17:29

But I do, I mean, like, I feel like I'll notice moments and the brain fog is legit because I have noticed recently some things that I'm sure we'll get into where I'm like, oh, maybe this is what that is.

All 17:40

Ooooh.

Jen 17:40

And night sweats. Not every night, but you know--

Marni 17:42

Aw, that's the worst.

Jen 17:42

--I'll wake up and I'm like, why am I drenched?

Marni 17:45

Yeah.

Jen 17:45

My chest is sweating.

Marni 17:46

Yes.

Jen 17:47

But it's not, it's not often, but it happens. And you know, so I-- I feel like my body is priming itself for some-- some changes here. But -- yeah, and I'm-- I think that you know, you ladies are to be commended for talking about this regularly. And I think a lot of people are talking about it more and regularly now too, which is just great. Great for women to have forums to learn about what other people are experiencing because sometimes you don't even know what you should be looking out for.

Marni 18:17

Thank you for that. I mean, that's our-- that's our whole, you know, raison d'etre here is just to be like, "Hey, you know, this is happening to our bodies!" and then everybody else who's like, "Oh my god, that's happening to me too. But I don't want to talk about it, but I'd like to hear about it." So yeah, thank you so much. I think Gen Xers and elder millennials are like, what the fuck is all this silence about?

Dom 18:38

Mm-hmm.

Marni 18:38

And we're like, nuh-uh, not on my watch. And so we're like, blow it up. So thank you for that.

Jen 18:43

Yeah, it definitely seems to be like a generational challenge. The conversation is much more open out there, you know.

Marni 18:50

Yeah.

Jen 18:50

Probably than certainly in my parents' generation.

Marni 18:54

Oh, heck yeah. They were --

Dom 18:56

One hundred percent.

Marni 18:56

They were, you know, Baby Boomers were raised by the Silent Generation, so like there was nothing talked about in *their* house, and most of our parents had us young. So by the time that *they* went through it, we were off on our own lives. So, and now with social media...

Jen 19:10

My mom had me early. She was 22.

Marni 19:12

Yeah, see!

Dom 19:12

My mom too! What's g-- ? Jen...

Marni 19:15

You guys are like the same.

Dom 19:17

We are also childless by choice. Are we like twinning? What's happening?

Marni 19:21

Totally.

Jen 19:22

--of 1982. [laughter]

Marni 19:26

I love it. Oh my gosh. Okay.

Dom 19:29

So-- so you both touched on this, but I-- I'm just want to dig a little bit more. How have your conversations been with your health professionals around perimenopause and menopause? Have they been easy, difficult? Were you believed when you started bringing things up? Or what-- what was-- what were those experiences like for you?

Amber 19:50

Mine is wonderful. I have-- I have the best gynecologist in the world, Dr. Gallagher. She is absolutely amazing. I've been with her for 25 years-- and she asks me every time. She's like, hey, what are you what's going on? And like, as soon as you find a little ink-- you better call me. And I do, and like literally a phone call, not an appointment with the doctor. Um, and so I did go in to have like a full conversation with her when I finally realized that this might be what was going on. Because she's-- she-- again, she's wonderful. She asks so many questions about every component of it. And she's like, let's do this, let's get this started. Here's how we're gonna start it. And I-- I'm so curious how the patches are gonna work for you, Dom, because I just started -- estradiol gel every day.

Dom 20:40

Oh, okay.

Amber 20:41

And I started that about 45 days ago, and I can't believe how wonderful it is. And I'm on a pr-- fairly low dose.

Dom 20:48

Ohhhhhh!

Marni 20:49

Amazing. That's so cool.

Amber 20:50

Yeah. Mm-hmm.

Dom 20:50

Amazing.

Marni 20:52

That's wonderful.

Amber 20:53

Yeah, so they-- they've been great. You know, my PCP, I fired her, so-- and I encourage people if you're-- if you're not getting the responses that you want from your healthcare providers, move on.

Marni 21:06

Yeah.

Amber 21:06

Find somebody new.

Marni 21:09

Hundred percent.

Amber 21:09

And it's really hard, especially when you've been with someone for a long time, but they're not listening.

Marni 21:14

Oh yeah.

Amber 21:14

And you have to take that as a sign that it's not the right fit for you.

Jen 21:18

Yeah.

Marni 21:18

Yeah.

Jen 21:19

I feel like for me, like I'm-- I mentioned the conversation with my provider. I feel like my provider's very, very -- I'm happy with her so far, but I feel like I am in a situation where I almost don't know what to ask. And sometimes I worry that my hormonal birth control is perhaps like masking things that I would notice if I wasn't on it. But then if that's the treatment, you know, it's--

Dom 21:41

Mmm.

Jen 21:42

it's -- it's-- it's interesting because I've asked to do like the hormone panel over time, which I understand is important if you, you know, can't-- you can't just measure it at one point in time because your bod-- you know, and maybe my body is behaving differently because of the things that are going on with it, but -- yeah, I've-- I feel like the-- the coming years will definitely be interesting to see. Like, do I actually feel like I'm getting the support I need? I don't feel like I get proactively asked questions about this yet necessarily. So I feel like it's definitely on me to be like exploring or asking. But I've-- I've never felt like shut down per se.

Dom 22:18

Okay.

Jen 22:18

But I feel like I probably am gonna need to do a lot more self-education. So I'm prepared to look out for certain things. I feel like I'm in a period of like confusion.

Marni 22:29

Yeah. [laughs]

Dom 22:29

Yeah. Unfortunately, I feel like that's more the norm, Jen--

Marni 22:35

Yeah.

Dom 22:35

--having to be the one that does the research and then go to your doctor with your research and asking those questions.

Jen 22:43

Yeah.

Dom 22:43

Which is hard because we're not doctors.

Marni 22:46

No. We are not doctors. Hashtag NotADoctor.

Jen 22:48

Well, except for Amber.

Marni 22:50

Wait, that's right, Amber!

Amber 22:54

Yeah, I'm a doctor, I'm a therapist, I'm a lawyer, and I have a lot of different degrees out there.

Marni 22:58

[ Laughs]

Jen 22:58

Yeah, yeah. I-- I am grateful for friends that are my age and older than me who have experiences that I can talk to them about and learn from as well. Just, you know, that's-- that's helpful because-- yeah, like we, I mean, I've never had like an in-depth discussion with my mother about this. Not that I couldn't, like, I mean, I probably could, but her life experience with it, probably from a care perspective. And it's just, you know, she's past it. And also, there's different expectations that women today going through these things have. I think that she probably didn't have hardly any expectations when she went through it. She was probably like, "Guess I'll survive it!" So...

Marni 23:33

Oh my gosh.

Jen 23:34

You know.

Marni 23:34

Yeah, nobody knew anything. It's like, -- yeah, I don't, I had no idea what was gonna happen to my body. So actually, going in that-- in your early life, were you ever told what was going to happen to your body?

Amber 23:48

No.

Jen 23:49

Not really, no. I mean, nobody sat me down. You know how you're like in grade school, and one day they're like, "Well, let's get out the diagrams."

Marni 23:55

Right. Uh-huh. Yeah.

Jen 23:55

"These are fallopian tubes," right? Like you ha-- like you learn about a certain stage of that type of health, if you will, but nobody ever teaches you about the later stages of that side of women's health. And--

Marni 24:07

No.

Jen 24:08

So never like any formal education. I just feel like it's kind of like the classic stuff that you either hear that's on TV or like probably portrayed in the most like insensitive or like ridiculous, you know, like--

Marni 24:22

Yeah.

Jen 24:22

Like everyone, like the sweating caught my attention--

Amber 24:25

The hot flashes.

Jen 24:25

--because I was like, Oh, I've heard of that in main-- that's mainstream to think that you might have a hot flash, or like you said, Amber--

Marni 24:31

Right.

Jen 24:31

Yeah, like mainstream stuff. But I think sometimes in my mind, things that are changing are because I'm getting older, but I don't always attach that to potentially like a women's health explicit thing.

Marni 24:45

Mm-hmm.

Jen 24:45

You know what I mean?

Marni 24:46

Yeah, yeah. No, and actually, there's a part of our ovaries that they've just discovered. Have you heard about this? What?

Speaker 24:53

No, I have not.

Marni 24:55

A rete ovarii that was just rediscovered. And and I'm also using air quotes for those of you just listening, that was rediscovered because there is a rete testis that is the companion that has been studied extensively. And about a hundred years ago, it used to be in Gray's Anatomy. And there was a doctor, all men doctors, of course, at the time, is like, oh, this is vestigial, like it doesn't do anything. Um, so we're just gonna, it wasn't drawn into the anatomical drawings, it was never added to any textbooks, it was not studied. And some researchers, women researchers who are studying mice said, Oh my god, --, there's this thing. What is this? I wonder if humans have it too. And sure enough, we do. And it has all this to do with hormones, and then like it is it is wild. Look up the rete ovarii. How do you spell that? It's R-E-T-E-O-V-A-R-I-I. Rete ovarii. Yes.

Dom 25:59

Also, --, did anybody else, when you said Gray's Anatomy, first think about the show. Yeah.

unknown 26:08

Yeah.

Dom 26:08

Well, you know that's where that came from. Well, they talked about it on Gray's anatomy. Well, Amber. Oh my god.

Speaker 1 26:13

I don't know if you ladies know this, but Amber has narrated in the genre. Yeah. Oh my god, it was so good.

Speaker 3 26:19

What? What's your heard about it? It's called -- Brown Brown Girls Disease. It comes out, I think it comes out in November. And it's about -- it's about brown skinned women in healthcare -- with a focus on sexual health. And so it takes all the way through. So when I did this, so for those that are just listening, I just made a little with both my pointer fingers, I made a point, and then I had two things coming down because we all start like that as we're being -- we're developing in the wound, right? So our cells are generate, start this. One turns into a vagina, one turns into a penis. Right. And one turn, then we have testes and ovaries, right? So so anyway, it was wonderful because I got a full anatomy lesson while I was narrating this book. And then we're getting all the we're going all the way through sexual health and why people don't listen to brown-skinned women specifically. It had a very South Asian lens to it, --, and then into menopause, perimenopause, and menopause, and then -- cancer. So it was really, really fast. Fantastically written book. Um, absolutely, absolutely wonderful. Is it out yet, or did you say what? It's not. No, it's not. I I just finished pickups for it. So awesome. Um, I think it's I think it's supposed to come out in November. We will link to it in the show notes. That's very important.

Dom 27:44

I cannot wait.

Marni 27:45

Yeah, and Dom has talked about that before too. So that's amazing. How cool. Yeah.

Speaker 3 27:51

Oh my gosh. I yeah, and it was right when I was going through all these when I got cast in the book. I was right when I was going realizing what I was going through. And I was like, so I'm on the plane, I got my diagrams out. I'm like, I hope you don't mind because I'm gonna let it fly. You just have to look over my shoulder and see these photos.

Speaker 1 28:11

The human body is a natural thing. That's okay.

Marni 28:15

And people should know. People should know. Anyone, whether you own ovaries, were born with ovaries, or don't have ovaries, they should know about this. It should be demystified, just like we've just demystified periods recently.

Speaker 28:28

Yeah.

Marni 28:28

Like it's like, hey, it should be celebrated. There's these things that you get for your children who have ovaries, and like it should be demystified so that people who don't have ovaries or people who love people who have ovaries that were going through it that are not going through the same things, will know what's happening to us and don't think, oh my god, you're just a bitch now. And it's like, no, all of my fucks are going out the window with every single hot flash. Like every hot flash is another fuck going away. So that people should know.

Speaker 3 29:02

Yeah, and I think I think what's what resonated well, and I'm I won't harp on this book a whole lot, but yeah, one of the things that I think really helped me even change my way of thinking is that a lot of times we say these words like, oh, she's so hormonal. Oh, okay. Uh yeah, I mean, I would even joke about that, like, oh, I'm so hormonal right now. Okay, sure. Maybe I'm imbalanced, right? Maybe I have an imbalance that needs to be addressed, but you know, causing or saying things like someone's hormonal in a bad sense is just so absolutely disrespectful and wrong, right? Yeah. We we have things going on in our body that we are not necessarily aware of, and we haven't been, as Jen mentioned, and as you guys are using your platform for, not been open to talk about it so openly. So open to talk about it so openly. Yeah. Well, it works good enough. That works. That works. That's exactly right. Yeah. So it's so it's really great. And I think, and I'll say one last thing about this book too, is that for women going through perimenopause and menopause and our sexual health, sexual desire, a lot of times changes and drops and can be frustrating for our partners. There are solutions for that. There are solutions, people. Yes. And and you you should talk to your gynecologist, your sexual health professional about that. Um, there are things that can be done. So that's my call to action.

Marni 30:31

Yes, and love it. Bravo and menopause.org. If you don't have a provider who listens to you, menopause.org has menopause specialists. If you think you're going through it, you're you might be not too young. Like I have a friend who started in her 20s. It can really vary.

Speaker 1 30:51

It really can vary. And I think like if it's not, if it's people are busy in their everyday lives, like jobs, family stresses, you know, everybody has a million things going on. And I think one day, you know, I have a few friends that are like, I feel like one day I just woke up and like you said, no fuck. They're they're like, I just realized like I was losing my mind seeing me, like I was just like angry all the time, or you know, they're like, I finally had an awakening and did something about it. But when it comes on, you might not see see that until it's really taking over and causing you a lot of stress and anxiety.

Speaker 3 31:28

So it hundreds of. And I'll also add that like the these typical ages that you know, you were saying, Marni, you had a friend enter it so early. Um, Asian women, women of color, we enter it typically at a very different time too. A lot of times a lot earlier than than white women do. And that's and and when you and then when you get into individuals like myself who are mixed race, right? That becomes another factor that's becomes a hard predictor. So again, opening the conversation, what you guys are doing is great. Absolutely.

Marni 32:01

Thank you. And my friend who went through it early, she's black. So yeah.

Speaker 3 32:04

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Marni 32:06

You know, so yeah. Um, go ahead, Dom.

Dom 32:10

Oh yeah. So -- a side note, it took me finding a Filipino doctor to actually confirm for me four years, and then I got finally found a Filipino doctor who believed me and started prescribing stuff for me.

Speaker 1 32:26

Just you know, on the brown girl note. This is what I this is, I mean, may you know, speaking as a white woman, but this is what why do doctors not believe? I think it's many women, but especially women of color, I know are more challenged with this. Why do they not believe you? You know, and I feel like even with not necessarily like female health-related things, like I've been in, and I almost feel like, oh, well, I'm experiencing this thing, and maybe I'm the crazy one or whatever. And I have had a doctor be like, you are actually experiencing like your symptoms are real, you are not making them up. It's like you come to a point where you're like, maybe I'm the crazy one. Like, why would they not that I just don't understand? Maybe I'm living in a state of being very naive, but I'm like, why would your doctor be like, you're not really experiencing that? Like they're not in your body, you know.

Marni 33:13

And it's I think they it's because they don't get enough -- and and this is changing too, thank God. But they don't get they don't get the education.

Dom 33:22

Well, I think in terms of the race part of that, oh yeah, for sure. That's in terms of the race part, it's not necessarily about education, it's about bias. And we all have biases that we develop as we grow, as we move through this world. We we all have them. Um, but certain professionals in different environments develop different kinds of biases sometimes.

Speaker 3 33:49

Yeah.

Dom 33:50

And they're unconscious biases, and I think a lot of that there's sometimes there's just overt racism, but then also there is unconscious bias that happens when someone walks into an office who is not white.

Speaker 3 34:04

Yeah. Yeah. And I think I think to that point as well, --, if you were looking at the medical books and you're looking at the old ones, they are all depicting white women and white or white experiences, right? So I think that -- the some of that disbelief also comes in not having proper documentation and research from a diversity standpoint. And I think that that really does harm us in the long run. I mean, Marni, I think I was I said this on The Bitches in Heat. I made a comment on one of your things, but when did women actually start getting into medical studies? Wasn't it like 1987? 1993. 1993. I mean, come on. Women were just starting to get involved in research on medical in the medical industry. What the hell? We were basing everything on men.

Marni 34:58

Yes, 100%. And like it was women of child of potential childbearing age, more rabbit ears here, air quotes, --, were not allowed to be part of medical studies until -- a law was passed in 1993 that allowed them to be studied. That's so we don't know anything about anybody, but particularly, you know, about women of color. That's like, you know, so anyway, yeah, it's incredibly frustrating.

Speaker 3 35:29

Fun fact that's when I graduated from high school. And today I'm wearing a sweater that looks exactly like my high school graduation sweater. And I'm doing it. I was like, I look like I did in my 1993 high school. You do, you don't age.

Speaker 1 35:44

That's why you can't be studied. You're breaking all the rules. I love it. I love it. Oh man. Well, I'm glad you have found a practitioner and a provider that is listening to you and you feel her because it's really important. Thank you. Thank you.

Dom 36:01

Um so we talked a little bit about, you know, if anybody talked to you about this earlier on in life, but have you had any, whether you were from when you were younger or even more recently, had any people go through this before you who you were sort of able to witness and gain some understanding about what was happening before you started going into the perimenopause journey. It's like for me, Marni's been like my resource.

Speaker 3 36:31

Yeah.

Dom 36:33

And I never saw anybody go through it.

Speaker 3 36:35

I was gonna say, I wish I did. Um, I but I I didn't, you know, I I think most of my my friends are younger than me. Um and then there's a group of women that I'm very, very close with here in Pittsburgh, and most of us don't have our uteruses anymore. So we, you know, we experience things a little differently. And --, I think only recently has started having the conversation, and it's been since I narrated that book and have started to bring it up in conversation. So --, yeah, so for me, it's kind of been a little bit of a solo journey, and I'm again thankful that I have such a wonderful OB/GYN.

Speaker 1 37:16

That makes a big difference. Most of my friends are older than me, so I'm sort of on the opposite side. I do feel like I'm seeing like a lot of women go through different it in different ways now. Um, I have a lot of friends that are in their late 40s, early 50s, and it's interesting, you know. I I think a good number of people seem to be turning to like online resources as well, like MIDI health, and just like trying to almost take things into their own hands, like not necessarily having maybe stronger counseling and -- with a like a local medical provider that they can see and trust, like what Amber -- has, but -- just almost like self-exploration because a lot of these things seem to be reasonably well approved with these online resources from like what I hear from my friends. But I don't think I I don't think a lot of people I know have the same level of maybe trust or confidence in their doctor that Amber has, and that that you found now as well, -- Dom. But yeah, I feel like time will tell for me. I like I said, I I'm my self-diagnosis is that my hormonal birth control is like potentially not I maybe masking isn't the right word, but like some of me realizing things is maybe slightly delayed because I have some degree of like treatment in a sense coming from that medication.

Marni 38:38

Yeah. So I've heard a lot of that people who have been on birth control like all the way through the perimetopause thing, so they never had any symptoms whatsoever because they were on this, you know, they were on this progesterone and estrogen that was helping to mask all those symptoms or alleviate, shall we say, all those symptoms?

Speaker 1 38:59

Yeah, yeah. So maybe I'll just be on this for the rest of my life. Every once in a while. But I do I do feel like I know we're gonna talk about brain fog too. So like I but I do feel like moments now where I'm like, huh, okay, maybe that's what's going on.

Marni 39:16

Ah, and in the chat too, Falling Apples Theater said, I've I've heard that even female doctors were mostly trained by male doctors, and that also continues biases. And if you're trained by racist doctors as well, that shall continue also the racist biases, even if it's unconscious. Um, and Linda Allen also said -- that -- no one talked to her about it either. Um, it's so important to talk about this stuff and get it out in the open. So thanks for that, guys. Thank you, Hoddies in the chat. Yes. So shall we move on to our bitch sesh then? Yeah, all right. Let's bitch about some brain fog because I like the choice of the emoji in the actual brain fog emoji. I feel like it might be like a bubble face, but I'm enjoying it remember what's happening. It looks like fog around. I actually looked up fog and it came up like that. Um that's awesome.

Dom 40:11

We have our very own emoji. Amazing. I don't know. All right. So, what's the definition of brain fog, Dom? So I went on to menopause.org and I was like, is there an official definition of brain fog? I don't know if this is official, but menopause.org is basically my encyclopedia if I have questions. 100%. Um, and so what they said is 40 to 60 percent of midlife women report cognitive symptoms such as forgetfulness during the menopause transition. These symptoms manifest as brain fog, which reflects difficulty remembering words, names, anecdotes, and numbers, an inability to focus and concentrate, and distractibility. Such symptoms can cause distress and anxiety, often related to an unnecessary concern that these are early signs of dementia. Midlife women should be advised that brain fog during perimenopause is very common. Changes in cognitive performance are typically mild and within the limits of normal, and dementia at midlife is very rare.

Marni 41:18

Yeah. So I I want to say that I wrote down all the things that I wanted to say about brain fog because I knew I would forget them. Like, seriously, I knew I would get up here and be like, we were on a on a podcast or we're on a podcast coming up -- called -- Modern Menopause. And I swear to God, we got offline and I was like, oh my god, there were like three other things that I wanted to say. But it's all and 1A, --, the NPR show -- about the First Amendment, 1A is doing a whole segment, like their whole show was on brain fog.

Dom 41:52

Really? Yeah.

Marni 41:54

I was like, that was today, actually. As a matter of fact, the day that we are taping this, it was the day that they did it. Um, Rebecca says, brain fog, I've been talking for a living my entire life, especially as a professor, and now words just disappear mid-sentence. And it's so frustrating and embarrassing. And she teaches in front of her students.

Dom 42:16

Don't be embarrassed, but I understand feeling embarrassed.

Marni 42:19

Yeah, absolutely. But social media, I think, has helped so much for people to not feel alone in what we're experiencing. There are so many funny TikToks out there about brain fog. Like, and I will I will be talking to my husband. I did this this afternoon, talking to my husband and just stop mid-sentence. And he's like, --, was there something else you wanted to say? And I was like, I don't know what was the last thing you heard me say because I have no idea what it was.

Dom 42:49

I can name four instances of brain fog from today alone. I said I washed my face twice. Like I woke up, I went and brushed my teeth and washed my face, which is the first thing I always do. Then I went downstairs and was like, Did I wash my face? And then I went back upstairs and I washed my face again.

Speaker 1 43:10

You're really clean this this morning, really clean.

Dom 43:12

Yeah, very clean, very, very clean. Um, I'm relatively certain I did not put on deodorant. Uh, I thought I did, but my armpits are feeling a bit sticky.

Marni 43:21

Um things that happen all the time that you're like, Yeah, did I do I have timer caps for my -- my medications that like will show me the last time I opened it. So it's like, do did I take my medication today? I don't know. And so that's brilliant.

Speaker 3 43:42

That's brilliant. Because that's my problem. My problem in the morning is like, wait, did I take the synthroid today? I don't remember if I took my syntroid today. I better not take it again because if I do, that's way too much synthroid. That's a really great tool. You can get it.

Speaker 1 43:58

I literally won't link it. Literally will have like my medication in front of me, and I'll be like, Did I open those already and take them in the last five minutes? And I don't know if I did or not.

Dom 44:07

Yes, the amount of times I look to my husband, if we're like sitting and eating breakfast together, and I look at him and I go, Did I did I take those pills? Literally, did you notice me open that bottle and put them in my mouth?

Speaker 1 44:20

I feel really validated right now because I did not know how common this particular example would be.

Marni 44:25

Oh hundred percent. And because I'll remember taking it the day before, but then I'll look at the timer cap and it's like it says seven minutes. I'm like, I did take that just a few minutes ago. Okay, no.

Speaker 1 44:38

My problem is that I am chronically multitasking. So like I don't do one thing, and I like right now, I'm just on this talking to you ladies, which is very refreshing. But usually Amber knows this. I'm doing like I'm like in Slack for my corporate job. I'm like making sure I didn't forget to put the post up for the podcast on social media. I'm giving my cat his breakfast. I'm like putting a clean dish away, and I'm like, did I take that pill? So I like blame it on just being too distracted, but I think that it's all sometimes when I'm just sitting there, I still don't know if I did it.

Speaker 3 45:10

Well, some wait, Jen and I when I were Jen and I are recording, like sometimes we'll pause, which is why we have editing in our podcast. Like, wait, what what was I just saying? Like you're you lose a cut, you're telling a story and you've just complete lot, completely lost a train of thought.

Marni 45:27

100%. There's like a thing in ADHD, too. And fun fact, perimenopause mimics the symptoms of ADHD. And if you have ADHD, it exacerbates them. That's very interesting. So walking through doorways resets your mind. And it's like, isn't that wild? So, like, that's why you walk into a room and you're like, I don't know why I'm here. Yes, I do that all the time.

Speaker 1 45:56

Yeah, all the time. It's like a I'm like, why am I in the pantry? Why would I be in the pantry? What do I need in here?

unknown 46:03

Totally.

Speaker 1 46:04

Like, and say out loud, what am I doing?

Marni 46:06

What am I doing? And then John Daddy always goes, Your best. And I'm like, Yes, that is true. For those of you listening for the first time, John Daddy's our editor, but he's also my engineer. So, but he is like, that's if you ever like, what am I doing? Just think my best.

Speaker 1 46:23

That's I I mean, I make so many lists too, because I have like 8,000 things to do on any given day. I P.S. people with kids, how do you do it? How do you all your own shit? And then the things the kid has to do. Don't understand how that's even possible. But I literally will have to write down every single thing that I have to get done, or I will like not remember the thing that has to get done.

Marni 46:43

If you don't write it down, it doesn't happen. Yeah.

Dom 46:46

My problem is is sometimes I write it down and I lose the thing I wrote it down on. Put it in notes on your phone. So use your phone. I do that too, and then I forget to open it back up to look at it.

Speaker 46:59

This is a systemic issue.

Dom 47:01

I ignore, I ignore people who have sent sent alarms. I'm like, no, I actually alarms make me angry. So when they go off, I say shut the fuck up and I turn them off and walk away from life. I'm a lost cause. I'm not a lost cause. I still get shit done. I pay my bills. I'm fine.

Marni 47:15

But this is like oh man. Linda in the chat says reminders. She said so many reminders on her phone, and she needs to have someone follow her around and notice if I take a pill or remind me why I walked into your room. That is true. Lindsay has a shared family calendar on her phone, and that's the only thing that works in her house. It's like if something happens, put it on the family calendar. And Adrienne says, I write things on my hand because if I lose my hand, I now have more to worry about than what was on my hand. That's a great and very valid point.

Dom 47:47

I feel like lately. The air will always be here.

Speaker 3 47:50

It should. I used to do that. Remember, you used to write phone numbers on that when you were younger before we had cell phones.

Dom 47:56

He used to write phone numbers on my hand for when I went to go drink in the woods, just in case I needed the woods adds a whole complicating layer to that as well.

Speaker 1 48:07

I feel like you you really needed some GPS with that.

Marni 48:09

Oh my god. And make sure you write it on the back of your hand because when you wash your hands, it won't come off as friction. Yeah. Because like you wash your hands twice and it's gone. Oh man, I would get an idea, and by the time I went to write it down, it'd be gone. Like you have an idea, like in the car is the worst. You have this great idea, and you're like, I'll write it down when I get to a stoplight. And get to the stoplight, and you're like, I have no idea what that was.

Speaker 3 48:39

Like now I just I talk to my I talk to my car for those reasons now. So I will send myself a text message from my car when that happens to me. I'll say, like, I'm not gonna say their name right now in order to not activate. Yeah. Send a message to Amber and then I send the thing. So that that's very helpful for me when that that stuff happens. And then I carry a planner. Like I had to go back, I realized I had to go back to a full-fledged planner, even in this digital age, because I'm the same way. I ignore my phone as much as possible. And that digital, that handwritten planner is one super satisfying, and really does keep me organized.

Marni 49:28

So I can't see. Jen has her entire calendar behind her in like individual. I wanted to ask where you got that.

Speaker 1 49:35

You can't see the up, so I can I can give you guys the link. This is awesome. And it's all like --, it's kind of like dry erase, so you can use it year after year, like a race, and then rewrite the dates with the numbers and stuff. I start you can't see, but I started strong, and as you can tell here in July and August, those months have passed, and I never even put anything on the calendar, but --, we're trying kind.

Dom 49:57

Please, please send the links because despite saying I'm bad at things, -- and write it down so I don't forget. I'll just turn me on like anything that has to do with planners and calendars, just yes, I make me so happy.

Marni 50:13

You can't see it from where you are now, but I've got a massive wall calendar behind me too. I I think there's something about digital stuff, it is right. I think there's something about digital stuff where you can't see it, and so if you can't see it, it doesn't exist, right? Yeah, right.

Speaker 1 50:28

But if you have your whole calendar in front of you, it's like well, then the perception of time also becomes very real. And I work in the corporate world, so we operate on like quarters and business objectives and blah blah blah. And I'm like, do you know how short a quarter is? Like, do you know how short a vendor is you it flies, doesn't it?

Marni 50:44

It does, it does.

Dom 50:45

So any other any other things that we want to bitch about when it comes to brain fog?

Marni 50:51

I'd actually like to mention this too. I thought I had early onset Alzheimer's, yeah. Um, and so I ended up going to neurologist because -- I was like, because it Alzheimer's runs in my family, and so like I wanted to nip it in the bud if like if if it that's what it was. And she gave me all of these, you know, cognitive. I take the best tests, I had all these cognitive tests, and and she sat me down and she's like, I want your brain. She's like, this score will get you into mensa. And I'm like, but why can't I remember anything? She's like, There's nothing wrong with your brain, it's just the you know, the neural pathways right now. And another fun fact, --, the very first time a pregnant woman had an MRI of her brain was 2024. What? They had an MRI of a pregnant woman's brain from two weeks prior to conception through two years postpartum, and the changes in the gray matter of a woman, and and they've done this with menopausal women too, prayer menopausal and menopausal women. We are getting rid of things we don't need anymore. And that's where a lot of the brain fog can come from because the neural pathways are going, okay, you need to focus on this now. So we're gonna do some culling of the files and we're gonna strengthen the neural pathways that you need for survival of your family or yourself, and we're going to take away all the other things that you don't need, all the stuff that you've accumulated that that is just there. We're gonna, you know, we're gonna take that out. So, yeah, check out the -- the study of the if you look up pregnant women's brain MRI 2024 or something, you should be able to find the study. It is fascinating.

Speaker 1 52:39

That's interesting because I feel like I get brain MRIs more than I like and headaches, sure. Yeah, and -- they I feel like that's one of the questions where they're like, could you be pregnant? So they've probably intentionally not been MRIing women's brains for like way too long in that state, maybe out of an abundance of caution for other things. But yeah, that's very interesting. Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 3 52:59

I feel like the fact that that's happening, this culling and this like disposing of information that we may not necessarily need, that brain fog is actually a sign of advanced intelligence. And women are probably much smarter than men, which we knew.

Marni 53:19

I mean, we know that.

Speaker 3 53:20

At the same time, this could be the proof we were looking for. Now we've got science.

Marni 53:27

Linda says, Why can I still remember every line from every movie and song in the 80s?

Dom 53:31

Because that's important. 80s needed information.

Speaker 3 53:34

Epic.

Speaker 1 53:35

Yeah, I still remember like the whole prologue from Romeo and Julia from seventh grade. They made us memorize it in school. Two households, both alike in dignity. It's like very good. Why do we have that? Right? It's funny. And I feel like my long-term memory is actually much better than my short-term memory, though. I feel like I can pull out things that are like like I can't remember the freaking pills in the morning, or like that my husband told me he'd be late at work two days, like two days ago for today. I can't remember that, but I can remember nonsense from grade school. So yes, yeah.

Marni 54:04

Lindsay says, yes, that right there. I and it, I think it's working memory, is we need we need the working memory. So it's like just the stuff that's that is -- you need right now is the stuff that your brain's like, okay, this is what I need. But then it might sometimes throws away the wrong stuff, which is like, what are you gonna do? Zura, actually, you know Zura Johnson, --, Jen does not, but -- our friend fellow narrator Zura Johnson said she remembered her mother -- going to her refrigerator at at Zura's house at her refrigerator when she was first married, and she came in and found her mother standing at the refrigerator, just staring into it. And and she's like, Mom, can I help you with something? She goes, Yeah. Do you have any sewing scissors?

Speaker 1 54:55

Do you know what I did today? I tried to put my coffee into the refrigerator to review. I have done that. I took I opened the refrigerator and I'm like, why am I doing this? And I was like, Oh, I meant to put the coffee mug in the microwave. Yeah.

Speaker 55:09

Oh my gosh.

Marni 55:12

I have done that. Yeah. I used to miss appointments all the time too. Like I'd be in the next county at a thrift store and get a call saying, --, you were supposed to be at work 15 minutes ago. And I was like, --, so now like I have Finch. Do you know Finch, that little -- app? I think I've heard of it. Mine's dead. No, they don't die. They don't die. So it's like a Tamagotchi, but it's --, but it it there's no punit punitive stuff. It's -- it is a little character that you do self-care things, and your character gets bigger, and you can style their house and put them in costumes and stuff, and you can put down what goals you want to accomplish during the day. They give you a set of like suggested ones, but you can get rid of whatever doesn't work for you. And so I've put first thing in the morning, check your calendar and set the appropriate alarm. So I said a 15-minute alarm, a five-minute alarm, and an alarm for the time. And I rarely miss things unless I sleep through my alarms. Um, but yeah, it's it's pretty freaking amazing. So yeah, --, Finch, I'll I'll put that in the show notes too. And if you want to be my friend on Finch, I'll get you.

Speaker 1 56:23

Well, check it out. I feel like I might need this for work meetings now because what I have noticed too is that like not only do I have the fog, but I do think when I get into things, I'm like stickier on those things now. And I intentionally, for work purposes, do not get a pop-up with every email and every single thing. Like, and it's been intentional, but now I'm like missing. I'll get like a message from one of the gals on my team and they'll be like, Oh, we're having the call. Are you gonna join? I'm like, shit, yes, I'll be there in two seconds. I was doing this other thing, I'm at my desk. And then your your your heart is like racing like this. I mean, this is the small perk of being kind of in charge, is that you're like, Okay, I'm here now. The only person I can really get in trouble with is my boss. There's only one layer above, but it's like, yeah, it's -- I should be a better example to them. But now I can blame Harry Menipause. So it's an example.

Marni 57:11

And one more thing, do you guys have like do people's names disappear?

Speaker 3 57:15

Oh gosh, yes, it's the worst. It's that's that's probably the worst for me from a brain fog, but like not just someone you met like once or twice, long-term friends.

Marni 57:26

Yes, yes, yes, oh my god, Rachel, Rachel Jacobs, who is a wonderful narrator, or dear dear friend. I was I remember a few years ago at the Odyssey, I was standing right next to her, and she'll remember this probably. Um, I was like, oh my god, I'm so sorry. I remember, I know who you are. I just don't remember your name, it is not populating into the field. Can you please just tell me your name? I feel so bad. So, like, I always say my name when I'm saying, and people like, I know who you are. I'm like, you know, just in case. Just in case. Yeah, yeah. Oh my god. Oh my god.

Speaker 1 58:06

Maybe we should make name name tags for all people over, you know, just that'll make it easier for anyone who can't remember. So helpful, right? Everybody just wear your name tags, please.

Dom 58:16

I love my name. Just every day. A patch for a lot of people. I would probably fuck with people and put on a fake name.

Speaker 3 58:23

Oh, hi Stacey. It's nice to see you again. You did swap name tags at the retreat. I did, yeah. Yep.

Dom 58:30

The so oh Dom, the other Dom, who is on the West Coast, also a narrator. We have the same exact birthday and we get confused a lot in the industry. So we decided on the last day of this narrator retreat that we were all at to switch our name tags and just fuck with people that day and see how many people noticed. Oh my god.

Marni 58:52

Oh my god, that's hysterical. Adrian says, I've always been crap with names. I have a Marni for that. She knows everyone. She does. You do my God. It's crazy. Like I will run into people in France, like on the street in New York City. I'm like, oh my God, I haven't seen you in forever. It in Cincinnati, it just happened. This is how we got our headshots, Dom and I, for the for the podcast. A guy I hadn't seen in 25 years was on the street, and my friend Jenny turned around and said, Oh, this is Taryn. And I was like, I was like, he's like, Oh, I know you, Marniana's like, what's your last name? And he told me, I was like, Oh my god! And then he ended up taking our headshots. So yeah, this, yeah. And high heel 21 says, That's why conferences are so great. Everyone's wearing a badge. Lol.

Speaker 1 59:40

You're right. Mandy is so good. Rebecca says, wearing a name tag. I feel like that's my new thing.

Marni 59:45

There you go. There you go. Monogrammed, you know, like right into all your clothes. Let's put it on our list, Jen.

Speaker 59:52

Yeah.

Marni 59:52

Rebecca says, I can only remember the names of nine of my 10 students at one time. I never forget the name of the same person.

Speaker 1 59:59

It's crazy making. A woman who has worked for me for well over a year, I cannot spell her last name. I've never tried to memorize it. It's too confusing. I just she's Kim O. Sorry, Kim, if you're listening. Oh my God. I know how to say her last name, but I can't spell it. Oh my God.

Dom 1:00:18

I've I've adopted just calling like saying nicknames for everybody. Hey, bud. Oh. I know.

Speaker 3 1:00:23

I'm always going to, I'm like, you did that to me, Dom. Oh, it's not when you did that to me. Have I have I read you? I don't think so. Uh yeah, definitely. You probably didn't, but you probably did. You know, but I love Dom's hugs. I love Dom's hugs. So Dom does give great hugs. Thank you. I do, I do pride myself on it.

Dom 1:00:51

We do like together, we make a good hug. We suck at hugs.

Speaker 1 1:00:55

That's a fun thing. You do have she doesn't like to be touched. One time I feel like I've been better lately, but my sister-in-law actually commended me on giving her like a reasonable hug recently. She we were like leaving dinner and she was like, Jen, that was like a real hug. I was like, Did I do it? We have like a joke. My brother will like stand there and I like hug him awkwardly over his arms. I'm like, we did it. And there was great rejoicing.

Marni 1:01:22

Yay! Dom and I had so much fun talking with Amber and Jen of Neighbors Neighboring about brain fog. That was what we were talking about, right? That we had to split this episode into two episodes. So join us next Tuesday for the thrilling conclusion to our first season of Bitches in Heat! And BT Dubs, if you've been enjoying bitching with us, please share this episode with anyone in your life who needs a good laugh about perry menopause or menopause. And make sure to like, subscribe, and leave us a review so other hotties can find us as well. Ugh, I hate saying that, but it really is the best way to support the pod and push us through the algorithmic noise.

unknown 1:02:01

Thank you.

Marni 1:02:03

Bitches and Heat Podcast is a co-production of Marni Perrin and Nuration LLC and Dom Salvation. Dom and Marni are not medical professionals and their advice should not be construed as such. They're just a couple of middle-aged hotties bitching about perimetopause and everything that surrounds it. If you'd like to join us for a live recording, you can become a supporter of the podcast and check out our Hottie's merch at bitchesandheatpodcast.com. Make sure you add the word podcast or you won't reach us. The other is a very different website. If you have a suggestion for a future podcast, write to us at bitchesandheatpodcast at gmail.com. Or if you just want Hottie's merch, go straight to shop.bitchesandheatpodcast.com. Our podcast is edited by John Deddy of Deddy Studios. Please note that no part of this audio may be used or reproduced in any manner for the purpose of training artificial intelligence technologies or systems. Copyright 2026, all rights reserved.