Marni 0:01

Welcome everyone to Bitches in Heat, a podcast where middle-aged hotties bitch about perimetaphs, metaphors, and the shit that surrounds it.

Dom 0:10

Also, hotties, there will be swearing. So maybe wear headphones or go in a different room if you've got kiddos and sensitive ears. But do grab a glass of your favorite beverage besties. I'm Marnie. I'm Dom. And today we are bitching about dryness everywhere.

Marni 0:30

Just to be clear, we are not medical professionals and our advice should not be construed as such.

Dom 0:36

So, if you have any medical questions, please go see your OPGYN or even better, your menopause specialist and tell them we sent you. So, Dom, who are we? And what are we drinking? Who are we and what are we drinking is a question I ask myself often. So I am, I am Dom. I am in perimenopause. I knowingly, I knew I was entering perimenopause self-assessment in my shortly before I turned 40. Only recently had a doctor finally say, Yes, you are in perimenopause, as I am almost 44. Today, we're going, we're going hard today, people. I am drinking bourbon. Ooh! I didn't think ahead. I put ice cubes in it, and so now you're all probably hearing the ice cubes clink. So I'm gonna try to keep my hand as steady as I can.

Marni 1:30

I've got ice cubes.

Dom 1:32

And also we are doing fun facts that are not necessarily perimenopause or menopause related. So today, my fun fact is I once dislocated my shoulder running away from a spider. How did you do that, please? Okay, well, here's the thing. In my defense, it actually technically was two spiders and a snake. We were on a hike in the Caribbean. Oh my god. We were probably the first ones on the trail. I walked through a spider web. It was so big that it brushed back the sunglasses on my head. So I turned to grab them, and I see this spider the size of my hand on the web. So then I have a level five meltdown. And my husband grabs a stick and decides he's gonna lead, and he's brushing above him to make sure I don't walk through any more spider webs. Grabs this, takes the stick, scratches the back of his neck, and then I see a spider crawl up his neck. So then I flip out and I go smacking at him and tell him to take his clothes off on the trail. He gets mad and says no. So then and I'm and he's like, let's turn back. And I'm like, no, we're halfway to the top. We're gonna keep going. So he keeps going, and I'm like, just go faster. Let's just go fast. So he goes faster. He gets, I don't know, farther ahead of me, but I can still see him. And then a snake crosses my path. So I scream, I start running, I trip over a rock, and I fall on my face. Oh my god. Yep. And there's a real pretty picture of my bloody shin from it, too.

Speaker 3 3:06

Oh my god. Oh, I'm so sorry. That is terrible. That's my one thing.

Dom 3:12

It was not a cute snake, Frank, Frankie. It was not a cute, it was not a cute snake. Not in the Caribbean. If it was like a main snake where I know our snakes here, sure, but a Cripean snake, a Crippian spider, I don't know what that's gonna do to me.

Marni 3:27

Oh my god. I just realized I lost my light too. I'm gonna plug my light in because we can do that here. So I am, by the way, who am I? I am Marnie Penning. I am in the DC area and we lost power this afternoon. There we go. One more light. That's good. Um, so I am at my friend Lindsay's house. Yay, Lindsay. Thank you, Lindsay. Lindsay, you're amazing. Lindsay, who is often in the chat with us. I have rated her liquor cabinet, so I have some of her vodka. Thank you for that, Lindsay. And I also have a uh a summer berry uh seltzer, so it's vodka and seltzer.

Speaker 3 4:06

I was about to say, I'm like, that's a pretty nice pour of vodka. Right? I know.

Marni 4:10

It's all vodka. Um, I am 55 and I went through menopause uh at 48. So I was 44 to 48 for Perry. Um I earned my white pants at 48 during the pandemic. And uh and and yeah, my fun fact, okay, if we're going for like body horror, uh I I I broke my foot on stage once. Ah yeah, I was playing The Fool in King Lear and I was jumping around Lear and I rolled on the side of my foot, and and I felt like something happened, and I was like, uh-oh. And I sat right down, and you know, we're in the middle of the show, and there's a whole audience, and Lear looks at me like, what you doing? And I was like, looking up, like, I'm just sitting here. So my gosh. And so we continue the scene, and I crawled off stage, and I'm like silent tears going because like I'm behind the stage, you can't do anything, and my foot is swelling up. And luckily, we had a second pair of like orange tennis shoes that were identical to the ones I was wearing on stage that were a couple sizes too big. So I was able to put that on, and I crawled on and off stage for the rest of my seas.

Dom 5:31

So what are you gonna do? Oh, your your body horror story is about how tough you are, you kept going. Mine is because I'm a massive fucking weenie.

Marni 5:45

Oh my gosh, too crazy. But uh speaking of fun facts.

Dom 5:52

Fun facts. Uh Marnie, do we have someone else here with us today?

Marni 5:59

Uh, we do have someone else here with us today, Dom. Funny that you should mention it. Today we have our very first special guest, and her name is Kate Wells. Kate Wells is a hormone expert and a true biochem nerd who has been educating practitioners about hormones for many years. Starting out as a high school science teacher and then pivoting into the business world, Kate knew she wanted to combine her passions for science and business and found the perfect match in leadership roles at labs specializing in hormone testing and hormone formulation. Fuck yeah. Yeah, she currently runs her own bioidentical hormone product companies where she writes educational articles and continues to educate practitioners and people like us on the roles of hormones in optimal longevity. Beyond nerding out on the latest research, Kate is an avid hiker, regularly putting in 20-mile hikes in the beautiful wilds of Colorado. I have to ask her where, because my sister lives there, loves to build stuff, is active in her community through rotary, loves to work with fabric to make colorful quilts. Kate is the author of a forecast for health and is the CFO and co-founder of Parlor Games LLC, which is where I got my silky peach cream, which we have talked about on the podcast before. Kate holds a BS MBA and has completed a fellowship in herbal medicine. So welcome to Bitches in Heat, Kate Wells.

Speaker 6 7:27

Yay!

Speaker 7:32

Thank you so much for having me. I'm so excited to chat with you.

Marni 7:37

We are so happy to have you here. All right, so we have Kate. Okay, all right, hotties.

Dom 7:47

Kate. Before we start going into dryness everywhere, we have a new segment that we are calling the hot seats. Yes. Because you know, hot flashes, we like to play on the word.

Marni 8:01

Um so what's something you'd like us to know about you that isn't in the bio I just read?

Speaker 1 8:08

Uh well, continuing my nerdy theme, um, and kind of honoring the fact that you're a Shakespearean actor, uh, Marnie. Um, I grew up in a town, Newcastle, in the northeast of England, uh, where we had a role Shakespeare season season every year. So from a relatively early age, I got exposed to Shakespeare and nerdiness of nerdiness, um, immersing myself um at age 17. I actually went and saw um King, you know, Henry the Sixth, part one, part two, and three all in one day. I love it. I'm gonna challenge anyone to meet that, be that for nerdiness.

Marni 8:47

Oh my god, I love it, I love it, I love it. I was in an adaptation of parts uh Henry the Sixth, parts one, two, and three, but it wasn't all three full plays, it was an adaptation. So you beat me, you beat me on that one.

Dom 9:03

That is so cool, Kate. Now, the very important question What are you drinking?

Speaker 1 9:10

Um well, I I have come to know that tea shops are like the candy store for me. Um, you know, kids go like candy, candy, candy. I'm like tea shop, tea shop, tea shop. And uh, and it's not just my roots. Um, no, there's so much uh tea um that it's sometimes I can't choose, so I have two mugs just because I can and I'm a grown-up. Um so so this one um is a green tea um with turmeric, ginger, and lemon. Um so it's really good for my immune system, and uh and it's got green tea, so it's got Lthanine, so I stay calm.

Marni 9:48

Oh, nice. That sounds delicious. I love it.

Speaker 1 9:51

Oh nice.

Marni 9:53

Okay, so when did you first realize you were in perimenopause, Kate?

Speaker 1 9:59

You know, I I was unbelievably fortunate. Um I was working at a lab and we did hormone testing, and we had staff doctors who talked to all our customers who were doctors, and I paid attention and I was getting to the point where I couldn't sleep. I've never been a really good sleeper, but it, you know, hitting perimenopause sort of around mid-40s, it was just worse. I was getting, you know, five, four, three night three hours sleep a night. And you cannot be the COO of a company um that you're actively trying to grow when you've you're getting that much sleep, you know, as also parenting as well. So I was listening to the staff doctors um talking about all of this and like oh the light comes, light bulb comes on, like, ooh, progesterone. And so um I was learning that you know my body's no longer making as much progesterone as it used to. So I started using progesterone. I'm like, oh my goodness, that solved the issues. Um so then you look at the other long list of issues that are related to um perimenopause, and so many of them are to do with low progesterone. And so I I I hate to brag, but I'm going to. I flew through menopause. Um, I think I had like sick hot flashes. Once I nailed the sleep, um, I uh and being on progesterone, that that was it for me. I mean, I've always been healthy, you know, and I act I act, you know, I'm I'm active, I get out, um, and I've always watched my food. Um, but I I'm it I just I'm here to shine a light. It is possible to have an awesome menopause. Oh my gosh. I'm breathing.

Dom 11:37

I'm so glad to hear that. Amazing. That is amazing to hear. So, in that same vein, I know with with your own research and and the people that you were working with, you had access and to a lot of knowledge. Um when you were seeing your your specialist, whether at OBGYN or a menopause specialist, um was were they understanding? Were they did they listen well? What were those interactions like for you?

Speaker 1 12:04

Yeah, so my primary care um was like, oh no, you're not in perimenopause. You know, you just want to smack them, honestly. You just want to smack them. And we hear a lot of that from our customers. Um so again, I'm surrounded by these great doctors, many of whom are NDs. And so I went back to them like they don't understand me. Um, and so I had a little pity party. Um and uh actually my boss, who was an antropathic doctor, um uh went ahead and prescribed the progesterone for me. Um just because I couldn't get um an answer from you know the from my regular GP. Oh my gosh. When you were little, go ahead. What were you gonna say? I'm gonna say you when you're too young, you know, women are so often told what to think um what is happening for them, or so and they're like, you know what, there's a big gap between what you're saying and reality, and I'm gonna believe myself um because you're not me. Um but not everybody feels that strong and empowered um to be able to um just say, uh no, no, that's not right. Um, so I I was fortunate that I was able to advocate for myself in that situation. Amazing. Background as a scientist helped you like advocate for yourself better. Uh no, I've just always been uh like out there, my sister. I love it. My younger sister, she's like, it's fine, she'll take care of it. Yeah, to this day, it's like I'm glad you're my big sister.

Speaker 13:39

Oh, that's she'll take care of it.

Speaker 1 13:41

That's um it's like no, I've always wanted to find solutions to things. I'm very solution driven. If you give me a problem, like I will find the solution. Um, and uh and that drive, um, you know, some people call that bloody-mindedness. Um that's okay. Um, I own that. Uh bloody-mindedness. I will find solution, yes. I love that.

Marni 14:03

I love that. Were you ever told in your early life, like when you were little, were you ever told what was gonna happen to you in like prior to menopause? No.

Speaker 1 14:13

No, I my mom had a horrible time of it, but I only know that through the lens of the knowledge I have now looking back. Um you know, she just she just didn't share, she didn't, um it just wasn't it just wasn't talked about. I mean, this is Britain for God's sake.

Marni 14:28

That's true, that's an extra layer of like not only like silent generation and boomer, like like, yeah, there's the extra layer of we're not gonna talk to it because we're British.

Speaker 1 14:38

Yeah. Right. So I I think I often think that I'm I'm kind of on the cusp, you know. I was I was born in 62, so I'm like at the tail end of the boomers, the beginning of the um what if Kim next generation? Gen X. Gen X. Yeah, that's um, and so I'm kind of on the cusp in there in terms of like, oh no, not putting up with the shit. Um I want I want solutions. So even though I uh didn't didn't grow up with any of that knowledge, combination of my work and my insistence on finding solutions, um, kind of got me into this place of of knowing. That's awesome. I think I'm so fortunate for that.

Dom 15:14

So amazing. Fantastic. We're glad you did too. Seriously. So, okay, so in retrospect, you were able to sort of pinpoint when your mother went through it. Did you um have any data from seeing anybody else go through it before you did, even if it was friends or anybody else?

Speaker 1 15:35

No, not really. And I think that's partly because I am this um sort of implant into the country, you know. We moved over here in '93, and so you make friends, uh, and most of my friends are you know, were were um parents of uh children that my children played with. So we were we're parenting together. And so I I often I was often one of the older ones, and so I was kind of on the lead, bleeding, leading edge of that. I didn't really have that many older friends because because of that whole transplant thing, didn't have family here, so um, so yeah, uh so I didn't. It was it really came from the kind of the knowledge that came from my professional life, so yeah, that's cool that you say that too, because I was in the same boat.

Marni 16:20

I was I didn't have my kid till I was 41. And so at day uh, you know, daycare or preschool, I'm 10 years older than everybody else, and so if everybody's like, Oh, I'm 34, I'm so old. I'm like, let me tell you something. And so this whole thing of, and I also have three younger sisters, so I didn't know anybody going through it when I went through it, and it was always like, why isn't anybody talking about this? That same kind of um uh like solution-driven thing that you have going on. I wanted to tell the world about what was happening, like big sister of the world, like your your big sister is big sister and you, but like like you're the one who is like, No, I'm gonna make sure everybody knows. And that's how you founded parlor games, right? Like, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 17:10

Yeah, that was my um uh my brush friend Kirstie. Um, you know, obviously, you know, we'd known each other since our girls were three, they are now 32. And um, she came to me and said, You you know about hormones. Um, you know, I'm having an issue with vaginal dryness. Sex is starting to hurt. What's going on? So I was able to explain that you know, her estrogen level was dropping. Estrogen is critical for that uh tissue to have it, you know, moist and healthy and strong and supple. And uh was able to, you know, say, you know, use an estrool queen. And um within like two weeks, she's calling me back, like we just had sex.

Speaker 4 18:10

Thank you for leading the way.

Speaker 1 18:14

So, so as friends do, you're sitting yakking, and you know, she's an entrepreneur, and I'm you know, long career in business, and we're like, there's a market here. Women don't know that this is you are the living experience of so many women. And it's like we have, you know, we could do this, we could bring this to the world, we could educate women, we could show them this information, we can we can make a product that really works. And uh, I mean, that's the start of it. And oh my god, what a wild ride! Um, you know, six years ago when we were starting this, um, no one was talking about vaginal health. No one, it was all like dryness, uh, I mean, silence around dryness. It was just like um and and we've cracked that. You know, you don't have to go on um any of the socials these days and you're hit with this messaging. I mean, obviously, people know what my age group is, like I'm in my 60s now. So um I I I'm that target market. And uh but but they're oh god, it's night and day. Um from where we were in the conversations that women would have, women felt so alone. They felt broken, they felt dismissed, they would hear those messages from practitioners like, oh, it's just part of getting older, you know, like fuck you, it's not. Um it's there is a solution to this. Um, you know, that whole first doing no harm, telling a woman that she just has to get used to having a dry vagina is doing harm, you know, it's it's not okay. Um so you know, we we were able to get people, get women to know that there was a solution. And I think, you know, when when I'm sort of gasping there on my deathbed, like, uh goodbye, children, goodbye. Um like, you know, I did good in the world because I I transformed the conversation. Um, kirshi and I have brought something to um to women in terms of their their ability to go have good information, to go to the practitioners and say, hey, I know there's a solution. Will you help me?

Marni 20:19

Yeah. Was the silky peach cream was that the first one that you developed? Or was yeah, it's the best. Amazing.

Dom 20:28

So you came together, you you knew there was this gap of for women to be served here. Sort of tell us more about the creation of parlor games. Where does the name parlor games come from? Like tell us the story.

Speaker 1 20:45

You know, we we've always brought sass to it, particularly Kirsty. You know, I I you know, with my sort of very left brainish, I can go into like the serious stuff, the science, and I'm focused on business, and about numbers, you know, I'm a good businesswoman, I can get serious about that. But we've always laughed, she and I, and she has a great sassy sense of humor. And she knew that um we would be able to get our message across if we built community and we laughed about this. Um so she really led the development of um the messaging that we we came up with to um to bring to bring some lightness to this uh and some hope. Um, and so parlor games, well, you know, women have always sat around in parlors plotting revolutions. And um and you know, and honestly, what is more fun than sitting around laughing, playing games with your girlfriends? Um you know, we have a Facebook group that's just for our customers, and it's I don't know, it's it's coming up on 50,000 women in there. Um th this is a place of community, you know, women that don't get that anywhere with their friends, um, because just because they weren't comfortable talking about this. Oh, there's no holes barred. Um, there is nothing, no question that's new anymore. Everything, everything comes out. Um that's great. And and so the name is sort of honoring how women have this capacity to get together, to support each other, to share ideas, um, and to look out for each other. So yeah, and to laugh, honestly, that group of women together. It won't be long before they're laughing.

Marni 22:28

Yes, yeah. I I honestly don't understand why women aren't running the world, and I think it's just because seriously, I I am from a family with five women, and my people were like, Oh, your poor dad. I'm like, no, no, my dad loves it. My dad loves it. My mom is in control of the house, you know. My my sisters are all badasses. Like, I I've got businesses, Don's got businesses. Like, I don't, my my mother-in-law is like four foot eight, and Barbie will probably not be watching this, but she's four foot eight, and she will run a room, like she is in control, no question. I don't understand how we have been sold a bill of goods that we are less than once we hit a certain age. And it's all very nail-gazy. Go ahead.

Speaker 1 23:19

Well, we're often sold a bill of goods that we're less than, right? From the very first time we put it on, we have a hairbrush and put a dress on put to you know to go out and like be pretty, you know. Um, I mean, I was I was at Rotary yesterday and we're we're inducting a new member, and uh you know, she's a firebrand young woman, and her sponsor introduces her as a beautiful young woman. I'm like, stop thing, beautiful, like call her a firebrand young woman. Yeah, just I mean it's so insidious in all of our language. Yeah, and then of course, you're right, as soon as we hit a certain age, um, you know, we're we're no longer on the breeding shelf, um, even at the edge of that. Um, and so it's very easy to dismiss. Um but women have so much wisdom. Yeah. And I and why one of the things that I am still so very passionate about is is empowering women of all ages. Um it's easier with younger women who are, you know, are growing up into a culture where there is more focus on equality. We've still got a long way to go, but there's more focus on it. Um but empowering women once they get older, making sure that they know they can have the benefit of all sorts of hormones, just because they're done with reproduction does not mean their bodies are done with hormones. And and women have so so much knowledge, um, they have so much wisdom, they have so much kindness in general. I am generalizing, but they have kindness and they have that capacity to you know multitask and make sure that uh everyone is taken care of in the room. Um, you know, that has to be harnessed to help us some of the solve some of the the really big issues that we face um cultures.

Marni 25:08

So I think they're scared of us, truly. Hell hath no fury, right? Oh my god. I think they're scared of yeah, so uh well that leads us right into our bitch sesh, which is all about dryness everywhere today. And um I I I touched on this, touched on it. I touched on this in our opening episode. So if anybody's been watching the podcast or listening to the podcast for a while, um, they heard this story. But um very early on, um I had heard about painful sex and I was like, oh, sex is painful. I didn't know why sex would be painful. Like I thought it was just like it was painful. It's so painful because there's just no moisture whatsoever. And like the estrogen's gone and sucked all the moisture away. And so like I was like, I have uh eye drops with me all the time because my I can hear myself blink. It's like it's awful. So I went to my my OBGY on who thankfully went through uh menopause at 40 and is a menopause specialist. She's amazing, no bullshit. I've talked about her before on the podcast. But I had used a tampon and it had gotten stuck and because there was no moisture whatsoever. Like never mind any blood, there was no moisture, and it had ripped the lining, my my vaginal lining, because like when I pulled it out, and I will, it was so painful. Um, so like I never thought I would need lube to remove a tampon, right? Like that's it, it and I was like, I don't know what I did wrong. I didn't do anything wrong. I just didn't know that that was something that was happening. I also didn't know that like my periods were being so weird at that point that I, you know, I was usually five days like clockwork, and this just happened to be a three-day one. And like the Tampa, and it was like heavy, heavy, heavy, nothing. And so she's the first one who prescribed me vaginal estrogen because I have a blood clotting issue. So, um, so hormone like HRT, I'm not a candidate. But things that don't, you know, that are just topical, like the silky peach cream, I can use and it's not gonna give me a blood clot. So I was so excited when I saw your um your Instagram um ads. I was like, that, that, that, like, because you're when you're trying to have sex and it's like there's like it's like hitting against a brick wall. There's no like there's so much friction because there's no moisture whatsoever. And regular lubes don't work right with that. There's just not enough lube in the world sometimes for that.

Speaker 1 28:18

And and and then what happens is a vicious circle because who the hell can relax and enjoy yourself? I mean, like, this is gonna hurt, this is gonna hurt, pretend penetration's gonna hurt. Like, what that's gonna make you tense up, and yeah, it's just a the it's just a vicious circle at that point.

Marni 28:34

So yeah, yeah, and then your partner, whoever that is, is like, well, I am not providing enough sexiness to lubricate, you know, so it must be something wrong with me. And uh and so it's like this back and forth, stuff that we don't talk about to each other.

Speaker 6 28:50

Right.

Marni 28:51

And and if women don't talk about it with e with each other to know that this is gonna happen, then then if we just say it's sex is gonna be painful, then it just sounds like like, okay, well, then don't have sex. That's right. Rather than getting something that will help, that's going to it just like you need um a really good moisturizer for your skin. It's it's your skin, it's like it's the external but inside. So you need a really good moisturizer that is going to help continue to produce that. How did you find that?

Speaker 1 29:28

Um, again, that that happened to have just been my professional path. Um, when I was working at the lab, you know, we had all these practitioners who were doing our saliva testing and they were testing women's hormones, and then there they were, you know, some of them could um prescribe hormones and then others can't. So um, you know, over-the-counter hormones have been around for years. And so these this particular subset of practitioners are like, well, make a cream. We're like, no, we're a lab, make a cream, no, we're a lab, make a cream, okay, all right. So um the there was myself and uh the two lab owners, um, one was an MD and one was an ND, an athropathic doctor. Um the the three of us worked together um to develop this professional line of creams for these practitioners. And so I was just I was just in that, immersed in that, around that. I was learning all the biochemistry, I was learning, you know, the hearing all the clinical stuff. Um it was so now you know, here I am, I'm 64, um, and I'm looking at all the stepping stones that there were in my life. Um, I'm like, oh, my time here contributed this, my time here contributed this, my time here contributed this. And we of course 2020 is you're looking backwards. Uh and yet so many things in my life that I had done professionally, um, and and things that had happened to me personally, um, so that I understood the issue, um, had have led me to this point. It all it was all funneling towards this. So um that's this that's another piece that I am profoundly grateful for is I know I was meant to do this, but this is this is my work in this lifetime. I get to do it. So grateful. That's incredible. Um and uh so I mean that's a long-winded answer to your question. No, it's great, thank you. That's where it all comes from, all these pieces. And that's a I mean, that's part of is part of my pop my my philosophy on life is you know, stay open. Um if if a door seems closed, it's like, well, maybe it's a good reason it's closed, but just just wait and allow yourself to be open to like, oh, is that a little corridor over there? Well, the door is open on that corridor, so I'm gonna take that corridor. You know, um just we we can it's one thing to have goals um and go after those. Um sometimes the universe says, not that goal. Oh my god, I've got something else instead, and you just you know if you can take your ego out of it and and know that no, I'm I'm I'm I'm here for something and I'll follow this path blindly. Um you know, I love that. I'm just fortunate I've been able to learn to do that and and and have this joy.

Marni 32:28

That's great. Word for you.

Dom 32:31

Thank you. Many many vaginas, thank you.

Marni 32:36

Saving the world one vagina at a time, right? I love that. You dom, like what is your bitch sesh about dryness?

Speaker 3 32:48

Oh my god.

Dom 32:52

I mean, well, so first of all, I'll fit I'll end with the vagina story, but I would say like my skin and my hair have gotten much drier over, I would say, the last year and a half than they used to be, even when it's disgustingly humid out. I'm still dry. And um, so that's been interesting because I've always had I'm half Filipino, so my hair has always been very soft, and then just over like the last year or so, it started to be more coarse and dry, and not just the white hair that's coming in. My skin has been dry, my eyes have been dry. And people will say, doctors and coaches will say, Well, are you hydrating enough? And it's like, dude, I am an audiobook narrator. If I can hydrate, then everybody just hears my mouth sounds when I record, and editors yell at me. So like I hydrate. Um, so that's been fun. But I started to feel pain during intercourse right around when I turned 40. So when I had that first bad doctor's appointment with an OBGYN, and she told me I was too young, and she suggested we do an SDD test. I didn't hear that part. Yeah, I saved that one for you. Oh my god. Um I don't think that's necessary. Thanks. Oh my god. Uh so that was an experience. Um, and then it wasn't every time, but then I would say progressively over the last few years, it had gotten, I would say about a year and a half ago, it was really painful to the point that we mostly did oral at that point because I was like, I could not handle um penetrative sex. And I have a very sweet, loving husband who also did a ton of research, but he didn't do the right research because he just he just like basically did a wine tasting of lubes for our house. And he's like, what we had like a lineup, we had a lineup of little lubes.

Speaker 3 35:10

We're just oh my god, he's I love it. We spent a lot of money on it, but he was very sweet. He's like, We're gonna find the right one. That is very sweet. Oh my god, he's a great one.

Dom 35:29

And so what's interesting is so I have not tried anything, any kind of creams to assist me downstairs. The pain has subsided a bit, but I still experience right now pain during intercourse. Um, so I'm very curious about silky peach. About silky peach. So, all right. I actually intentionally kept myself not educated about this until tonight because I wanted to ask the questions for any of our listeners who may also not know. But when do you use it? How do you use it? Where does it go? Like, what what do you do? How do you do it?

Speaker 1 36:12

Yeah. Um, so let me just back up just a little bit and just kind of reinforce that message. You know, we have uh receptors for estrogen all over our pelvic area. So, yes, it can be for the vagina, it's also around the urethra and the bladder, and just wait. Once you start sneezing, that's gonna be a surprise because you're gonna start peeing. Oh, I already do. Yes, professional health, but the whole pelvic area. So it's sitting going, where's the estrogen? Where's the estrogen? Where's the estrogen? So it turns out that estriol is one of the hormones that's really good for just like refilling the little reservoir of estriol um in that very tender tissue that's just like dry, empty reservoir, wet, you know, like, oh, why was it all? So typically, um, you know, estriol, estrogen creams, estriol creams, um, they're you you just pump them out onto your finger, you apply it to the uh inner labia. Sometimes if someone has um it's been a while that they've been dealing with this, you might want to put it on the outer labia where the skin is thicker, because sometimes that could it could just be so tender and so sore. Um but the idea being is that you you your body is oftentimes just not making enough or any estro estrogen. And so the goal is to put enough back in so that that tissue um kind of plumps up and is healthy, um, and and and the skin is not going to tear, it's nice and robust. Um, so many women will use that um in the evening just before they go to bed. Um, some women um can find that that keeps them awake, so they'll just use it in the morning after they've been in the shower. Um, and it becomes kind of a daily or every other day routine because um it's not like mending a bone. You know, after a while the bone's healed and you're good, off you go. This the the body has stopped its capacity to make its own estrogen, that's you know part of menopause transit transition. So you so they decide if you want to maintain that tissue, it's putting it back in on a regular basis um to make sure you have that regular supply.

Dom 38:22

So yeah. So so does it also help if you um like I do, I sneeze and I pee, I jump rope and I pee. Does it also assist with that?

Speaker 1 38:36

Right. So um we don't tend to think of you know the urethra, the little tube that goes on the bladder, the outside world, we don't tend to think of that as being a tube, but it is, and it has a skin layer on it, and there are estrogen receptors on that little skin layer. Um and there's estrogen receptors on the muscles around the uh the bladder neck. So if you take estrogen away, those muscles don't have that same kind of strength that they used to have. Um they're missing um estrogen. Um the in inside of the urethra, the tube, the you know, the UP through, um, that loses um its skin integrity as well. So you get little tiny little microtears in there, and that's when you start, you know, we're getting um, you know, replete back replete bladder or utis or just irritation. Um, but yes, with those muscles relying on estrogen as a component of their health, you know, your your bladder health, yeah, that's when you start just peeing. Um, and you only have to go down the incontinence aisle in the grocery store to know, like, oh, this is this is yet another problem that women don't talk about. Um so estriol alone is not the solution the long term, I think. You know, for many women, particularly those who have had a baby, um, you know, done all that pushing, you know, vaginal birth, all the all that pushing, gosh, it changes everything in your your your interior organs. Um, pelvic floor exercises as well, finding a pelvic floor specialist um that's really focused on um the whole network of muscles that there are um surrounding the bladder, um, and holding those other organs in place because sometimes I forget, oh god, I can just go on for hours. Please tell us we want to know. Just do that, like the sign across your throat, like stop talking. Um, so you know, we have collagen that holds a lot a lot of our organs in place. It's kind of a network um of like slings, whatever, and hold everything in place. Um, and estrogen is important for that collagen. And so as estrogen is diminishing as time passes, it everything can start to sink down, and that changes the just changes the geography of that whole pelvic region. And so your your bladder can get squished out, kind of out of shape. Um, and so that that whole area needs long-term consistent care and a pelvic floor therapist and making sure you have enough estrogen go a long way too, and making sure that you don't become incontinent. Now, nobody wants to pee their pants, but let's just take it a next step further. If you're always worried about peeing your pants, you stop going out. You always know where there's a bathroom. Yeah, you begin to do strategic dehydration if you don't know where that bathroom is going to be. You try flying, and you're not sure whether you're gonna be like stuck on the tarmac, unable to go to the bathroom. I mean, there's so much anxiety that women begin to experience around incontinence, and it changes how they interact with the world. So these I again, I'm I'm I'm feeling sort of earnest and passionate about this. Ladies again, I I I want to empower women to be healthy until like five minutes after they're like ah done scene. Yeah, um, and out of here. So yeah, I just I just want women to have all the information to be empowered. So well, you just blew my mind.

Dom 42:19

Yeah. So thank you. So now if somebody is on if someone's on HRT, can they still use the cream?

Speaker 1 42:27

Um they need it. One of um, so this is it's such a that's such a fantastic question. So a lot of this is to do is how how is how much how are hormones administered? Um, you know, there's such a growing body of evidence that says hormones are critical, um, biodentical hormones in particular that we're talking about. Um, and some hormones, uh particularly estrogens, are best done in creams. Um, and a practitioner can order those for you, can prescribe those for you. But many of what we call um hormones for overall HRT hormone replacement um are for systemic use, all the way through for our brains. Oh my god, so important for our brains. Um uh, but our bones, our cardiovascular system. So oftentimes it's you know it's a patch, or we put them on thin areas of the skin, so they sort of get distributed everywhere. When it comes to this um vulvar tissue, um to vaginal health and urinary health, it does seem um, and then the North American Menopause Society um are fully this is their message, is that you can do both. You get the benefit of HRT for all the systemic reasons, all the reasons your body still continues to need hormones. And you can use very targeted topical um estriol for that that um genitor urinary area of your body that you're. Just try to keep in good shape. So yeah, that's that's a North American Menopause Society message there. That's awesome.

Marni 44:05

We've talked about them too. If you're listening, menopause.org is how you find them. Um, Kate, is there also like a progesterone cream? Um, talk about that a little bit because you said like progesterone really helped you. And since I'm not an HRT candidate, I can't get like patches or anything like that. Um, is there like a cream that can help for that?

Speaker 1 44:27

Uh very definitely. Um, so progesterone can be given um in a tablet that you often take um uh bedtime, and that can be really helpful with sleep. Um then you can also get them in creams. And um creams, um, there's a little bit of like pharmacokinetics, how how this works in the body is when we when you put a cream on the thin areas of your skin, like in your arms, behind the knees, tops of the feet, even if you have a slender neck, even on your neck, you want that cream absorbed quickly into your bloodstream and into the lymphatic system. And that's how those hormones kind of get moved around. You know, your heart's pumping away, it's pumping the blood, and it's carrying some of this hormone around. Um so that topical creams can be a great way to get progesterone into the body. Um I there is a there's sometimes a little bit of confusion on this because so often people test hormones in serum in blood. Um, whereas if you're going to be using topical creams, the way to test it is in a saliva test. And that's a whole other conversation that we can have. But but because oftentimes someone who's on a hormone cream that doesn't often show up in a blood test. And so the hormone creams can sometimes get a bad rap because everyone says, Oh no, it don't show up. You're like, Well, you're looking in the wrong place. So um, so cream progesterone creams can be super helpful. Um and um uh and oftentimes women can get those prescribed um by a practitioner who's who knows what they're doing. Um they may be sent to a compounding pharmacist um to get those uh creams, you know, you keep them in the fridge and then you just sort of you know use them on the schedule that the practitioner gives you. So yeah. I I I want I want us to uh uh to have a note of hope around this, you know. Right at the beginning I said things have changed very much in six years since we started doing this. But one of the big things that happened um uh up it was like November of last year, was there's the messaging about estrogen causes cancer. There was a big X through that. Everyone said, Oh no, actually, uh estrogen can actually be protective. Um so it is our our our landscape now for women getting help, demanding help is so much better. What we do still have to deal with is for about 20 years, many practitioners had less than five hours of training on menopause. Yes, like what good half the population is gonna go through this.

Marni 47:20

Yep.

Speaker 1 47:22

So the tide is turning. Yeah, it's a bit slow, but I think women can feel very empowered to go to their practitioner and say, I want my hormones tested, um, I want a solution, I want you to track my symptoms, I want to come in every year, and I want you to keep tracking my symptoms because I know the ones that I have now in perimenopause are very different from the ones I'm gonna have postmenopause. Um and I want you monitoring me every year in the same way that you monitor my cholesterol, I want you monitoring my hormones. So amazing.

Marni 47:56

That is wonderful. That is wonderful, and a side note um if men went through this, you know we'd have a solution already.

Speaker 1 48:07

Like I believe that's called Viagra. Yeah, exactly.

Marni 48:10

Well, that's it. And and my friend in Washington State will move on to hormone horror stories later, but my friend in Washington State right now said that she can't get her patches because there are like one or two boxes in the area where she lives. Do you think there's a shortage of Cialis or Viagra? No, oh my god, so yeah, it's awful. Oh, that's that's fantastic. So, um, so what have you used that helps? Do you do anything else that helps? In addition to check out all the parlor game stuff. By the way, we're not sponsored by parlor games. We just love the parlor games stuff that we have, Kate, on, but definitely check out parlorgames.com. But in addition to parlor games, what else have you found that helps?

Speaker 1 48:55

So for me, for me, um, so in my 40s, that's when I started with progesterone, and it it just took me through um just took me through that transition. It was just never an issue. So then in my mid-50s, um, I began to um notice more of these dryness issues, my skin was changing, some of my cognition, I you know, the the word finding, um, you know, like you were trying to find the word earplugs in one of your um like the foamy thing that goes in. That was I always remember people laughing at that one, it was hilarious. So the um so the the word finding. So then I started introducing some um estrogen, um uh estriol and estradiol, which is the more potent of the estrogens. Um, but then um, you know, turning 60, and one of the things that I found is like I just had this level of fatigue that I've never had before. I've always been high energy. Um, and I was finding myself way more likely to sit in the couch than to put my boots on and go hiking. Um, and so then I added in D DHEA, dihydroepandrosterone. Um, and that's kind of a it's it's an overall wellness hormone, and it's a foundation hormone for um you know to make testosterone and estradiol. And that was transformative. Within two or three days of using this, I was running around like I'm back! I'm gonna took 10 years off me. I'm like, I remember what this felt like, and it had been so slow and so gradual, even with the progesterone, even with the estradiol, it it had just been so slow and incremental, and then I'm like boost with this DHEA back in my system, and um so um that has that has been fantastic for my brain, for my energy over the last three or four years, and I'm getting to the point now where I think I'm gonna go um back to the practitioner and talk to her about some testosterone. Um you know, I you know, my my libido, um, it's like when you're in the moment, you're like, oh yeah, I remember this. But I find I find I can go long longer and longer time before I'm like, oh yeah, let's let's now. I'm interested. You know, I'm like, that's changed. Um, but also um some of my strength um is changing. Um and and testosterone is is so incredibly important for men, um particularly with their strength and their muscle development, but it's also important for women, it's in in lower amounts, and so I'm just beginning to see that piece of it sort of coming in. So I'm I'm gonna get myself organized in the next sort of two or three months to get to the practitioner and say, you know what? I I know my testosterone is low, let's check it. Um because I'm I'm interested in testosterone replacement, you know, uh in a woman's dose. So yeah, that's interesting. Yeah.

Marni 51:57

Have you done any work with that in parlor games as well, like testosterone yet?

Speaker 1 52:01

Um so testosterone is a classified as a a class two drug and it has to be prescribed. And uh I mean in in some ways but you know, it's quite dangerous. It can be quite dangerous if you overdose it, if you do too much. Um, and I think because you know, it has been overused, you know, in sports um environment or weightlifting environments, um it has ended up in it being classified as as a class two substance, you know, it has to be prescribed just from a safety profile. But um and yeah, um in the right amounts, um it again, it can make such a big difference.

Marni 52:43

So I've heard a lot about microdosing, microdosing testosterone, and I'm curious about that too. Yeah, but it also in too much, it can turn you into a total asshole.

Speaker 1 52:54

Right like everything, um, and that's why you know having your practitioner test your hormones again. If just to reiterate, if someone is is using topicals, you do want to be testing in saliva, just because that's where you see the hormones. Um, but getting your practitioner to test your hormones regularly um and compare them to symptoms. That's great.

Marni 53:19

Absolutely, not a doctor, even though Kate is a scientist, we are not doctors.

Speaker 1 53:24

We're sharing information on how you can go to your doctor armed with the resources that will make them say, Let me help you.

Dom 53:32

Yes. So I would say, so I do not have a menopause specialist right now or an OBGYN right now, because we moved recently, and also I'm a little scarred by my past experiences with them. But I have a wonderful primary who, when I walked in and saw her for the first time again, she was my primary 10 years ago before any of this started. I walked in and she goes, Dom, you're almost 44. You're in perimenopause, let's start talking about it. And so she just went right into it. But when I do find an OBGYN or hopefully a menopause specialist, so I would walk in and I would say, I want to have my hormones monitored on an annual basis and have them saliva via saliva testing, not just blood testing.

Speaker 1 54:20

Well, if you're again, it's how you how you're getting your hormones. If you're getting your hormones orally, those show up in blood. So you could you could you're looking in the right place to see the hormones. If you're if someone is using a cream, um they just don't show up in blood in the same way unless you're on really high doses. Um, because they're they exist at the tissue level, but not in the blood. So they're there in the tissue where you need them. Um, and that's why you would uh so so using creams you monitor in saliva because saliva measures that tissue level.

Marni 54:54

Fantastic. I've never heard that before. That's amazing.

Dom 54:57

Well, well, I want to start use I'm on progesterone orally right now, but I'm really curious about that cream.

Speaker 1 55:04

Yeah. So well, I I will say, you know, oral, um, that oral is fantastic for sleep. Um, not that topical isn't as well, but oral in terms of because the progesterone itself um gets uh broken down by the liver. After you swallow it, it gets broken down by the liver, um, and it gets converted into another hormone called allopregnenolone or neurotransmitter called neuro allopregnenolone, and that goes, ooh, ping the GABA receptor, and your GABA is like the calm one. So progester makes allopregnenolone, which increases GABA, and you go like, oh, good night.

Marni 55:45

My nutritionist just gave me GABA, like because um to to start taking that. So that's it's interesting to know why I'm taking it. Yeah, right.

Speaker 1 56:00

Yeah, um, and um and there's a growing number of resources out there, and you know, just more and more people are understanding that oh yeah, we can we can really work with some fun science here.

Marni 56:11

That sounds really cool. That's awesome. And Dom, you were asking about like what it looks like. So I just happen to have mine here. So if you're watching on the um on the video, um, and if you're listening to it, you can go to YouTube on our channel. And I've got the silky peach cream and I'll show it on the thing. That's what it looks like. Love your lady bits, which I love. And then on the back, I'm showing the back of it. And if you're watching, you can pause to read that. Um, and then when you do the little pump of it, uh, I'll show you what it looks like. It looks just like that. And Kate, like any more than that, right? Just a little pump of it, like maybe one or two pumps.

Speaker 1 56:57

Um, oftentimes that's pretty much what most most of our customers use.

Dom 57:01

So I'm ordering mine this week and I will report back on the state of mind again.

Speaker 1 57:09

Exactly. Oh my god. Um, a lot of our ladies use it on their face as well. I mean, it's for skin, it's helping that skin be really healthy and strong.

Marni 57:19

No, I spend so much money on my skin, like because like now that you know, you use the same thing from when you're in eighth grade, when you're first like aware of your skin and taking care of it. Um, like when you're around 14, 13, 14 years old, you're like, oh, puberty, ha ha. Now I have to really start washing my face. And then now when you get into, you know, in into your midlife, your skin is so different that it's like, oh my god, now I have to try everything again to see what actually works for my skin. So you can use the silky peach cream on your face. That is uh see, you learn something new every day.

Speaker 1 58:02

I'm learning so on your some of our our ladies will use it on the backs of their hands, you know, because this is where you'll go. It's it is helping the skin cells be strong and robust. Um so that's it's a skin, it's really a skincare cream.

Speaker 4 58:18

So I mean, it's exciting. It's good, you know.

Marni 58:22

It's like it's like, oh, this it feels so nice and it smells, smells so good. Um, oh this is here's an interesting question. Does it have a taste? I haven't tasted it.

Speaker 1 58:33

Okay, good for human consumption.

Marni 58:36

No, no, but I mean, like, you know, never be confused with a lube. No, like if you're like so you want to use it all the time before you're gonna get busy, like so that you're not consuming it during the sometimes people, I mean everybody's schedule schedule or opportunities um are different.

Speaker 1 59:00

I mean, if if you use it and you're like, oh, I'm just gonna go to sleep, and and that's not the plan, um, things change, you know, you can always reapply afterwards.

Marni 59:09

Okay, good to know. Very nice. Excellent. Um, my other tools that I use for dryness, um, just in addition to dry vagina, which we've talked extensively about. Um, my my eyes, um, I've talked about this before, but I've found the blink uh eye drops to be very helpful. Um, it's not like Visine where it's like it takes the red out. It's nothing like that. It's just a lubrication for your eyes. I have it in my car, I have it in my purse, I have it in my booth, I have it in every bathroom because God knows, especially during the summer and the spring and summer, when I have my allergies are really bad, I really need extra lubrication for my eyes. So I found the blink eye drops very again, we're not sponsored blood blink. It's just what I happen to use. And for my skin, um, now I'm gonna use So Kype on the backs of my hands, but um the uh gold bond like 10 layer whatever, it's like it's a very, it's a wonderful um uh lotion that I keep at every single sink in my house. Um, so that I because I also have celiac disease, so I wash my hands a lot because my um my child and my husband don't have celiac and they do consume gluten in house. So if I touch anything that has gluten on it, I have to wash my hands immediately. Um, and that gold bond, uh, I'll link it in the show notes. That particular gold bond, it's got the number 10 on it. I can't remember if it's like 10 layers or 10 somethings, 10 somethings. Um it it helps my uh it helps so much. I have tried the anti-aging one, but I find that honestly to be a little drying. So this one you can you can um put it on right after you've washed your hands, and it does, it's not slimy, it's like it's very just very hydrating, and it makes sure that if your hands start to crack, that it's protecting your skin.

Dom 1:01:21

So that's amazing, cool, amazing.

Speaker 1 1:01:24

I like that idea of the blink because I find my eyes I you know, I live in the desert, uh kind of in western Colorado. Oh, okay. And it's so dry, it's so dry here. Yeah, my ideas, my eyes do get dry, so I'm gonna try that.

Marni 1:01:38

My sister's in steamboat springs. Oh, yeah, yeah. Yeah, that's awesome. Yeah, I mean, like that particular uh gold bond and the blank really, really helps. What about you, Dom? Do you have any um any tools that that help you a lot?

Dom 1:01:54

I mean, I got some tools that I'm gonna start using. Um, for sure. But I mean, for my for my dry skin, uh in the wintertime, what I found really worked was I got the Cera V moisturizing cream. And that I would get out of the shower and I would do an all over with that. And then I got this special, I think it's an aquifer lotion, but it's like a special healing one, not the gel that's like a Vaseline, but like an aquifer healing lotion. And then I would do another layer of that over the Cera V.

Speaker 6 1:02:26

Oh, okay.

Dom 1:02:27

And that actually moisturized and locked in the moisture for me. So like I wasn't completely dry and cracky and ashy by the end of the day. But because sometimes I'm a little bit bougie and I want something that smells nice, um, I am such a sucker for an Instagram ad. It's most ads. I am the target audience for Instagram ads. And so I bought the stripes beauty, which is Naomi Watts's company. She has a body oil called the full Monty that has is it squalene or squaly squalene? Is that how you say it? I would say squalene. Squalene. It has squalene in it and other things that I don't know how to pronounce and remember what they are. Um but they sound tiny. So here's the problem it smells incredible and it does work. I don't know if it would work on me in the winter time. I'm using it right now in the summer because it's I wanted something a little bit lighter than the double layer of lotions. But um, but it actually does work.

Marni 1:03:48

That's good to know. I will I will give you like a I can't use aquafore because it has alcohol in it. Aquifor has alcohol in it. I know. So, like on my lips, the only thing I can use is Vaseline lip care. That's it. And it's like it's like the little I can't even use because there are other Vaseline products that for your lips that have alcohol in them, and it hurts. Like I start to my lips start to peel. Yeah, that's awful.

Dom 1:04:21

Oh, geez.

Marni 1:04:22

It's not good.

Dom 1:04:23

So should we move on to hormone horror stories? We're we are already like we're we're having such a good time. We've already been here for over an hour.

Marni 1:04:32

So um, and and we do have, yeah, we we do check the chat here too. Um uh let's see, we've got um anything in the chat if you're here. We we're moving on to hormonal horror stories. If you've got anything in the chat, Hoddi, so if you're who are here, put in the chat. Um, if you've got something at home and you're listening to this later, you're not live with us, please write to us at bitchesandheapodcast at gmail.com and we could share yours on the air too. Um, one of the things that I shared last last episode is that my friend um Bridget, who is who has osteoporosis, um, went to a spine specialist and they said, Oh, well, we don't deal with menopausal women. I'm like, who the hell do you think gets osteoporosis? It's menopausal women. Like, what the fuck? So raging. Yeah, totally raging. Totally raging. Um, and the whole thing about like being in Washington State right now and needing HRT, you can't get it. It's what the hell is that? So, do you have any hormone horror stories, uh, Dom, to share with us?

Dom 1:05:51

Uh, well, I don't have any of my own or that anybody shared with me, but I like going on Reddit to get stories. Let me tell you, on Reddit, under both menopause and Mary Perimenopause, there are some really good subreddits. Like, and there's a lot. There is a lot. I think my favorite thing, though, about it is how supportive and kind everybody responding in there is to each other. Because you know what? Some of these social threads, people are so mean and judgmental. But in these spaces, which I comb through a lot, uh, everybody's so kind and just offering up information. But sometimes people are really fucking funny too. So um, so I'm just gonna read some really fun things and a couple of awww things from from Reddit. Uh, here we go. First person, here I go. Describing my genitals to strangers on the internet again. I first noticed the change when inserting my menstrual cup. Like suddenly, it always seems to leave me abraded and sore when I've been using them for years without any issues. Plus, I was getting the urge to pee constantly, getting up in the middle of the night, but also having to pee urgently as soon as I got home from work. That wasn't as funny. That was just a bummer. Um, let's see. Uh, your urine comes from a different hole, no problems there. But we all know now that they do need the estrogen. Anyway, go ahead. Mind blown, Kate.

Speaker 4 1:07:45

Yeah.

Dom 1:07:46

Um, my Volvo would feel so dry, it felt like it was eating my panties.

Speaker 1:07:51

Oh yeah.

Dom 1:07:54

Yeah. Yeah. Um, and then here's just a running list of some of the titles of the subreddits of like their questions. Dry as a desert. Help. Drying up down there. Dried up now. Question mark. Is the dryness permanent? Dry, dry, dry. What to do about this dry skin? I want to rip my skin off. Help. Dehydrate it all the time. Now, dry mouth, never gonna be the same down there. Desert dry skin everywhere. Is dry butt crack a thing?

Marni 1:08:28

All right, all right, let's talk about that. Oh my god. I never I never thought about that. Good old Reddit. Good old Reddit. Kate, we actually have an uh question from the chat for you. Um would you consider these products beneficial for an individual who is on CSHRT? Drier than the Kouraman in summer. So um, like for trans women who are on CSHRT, um, would these products be useful?

Speaker 1 1:08:59

Oh gosh, that that's always going to be a question for your practitioner, honestly. Um, just because uh everyone, well, everyone's an individual anyway. How we clear um hormones from our body, how we utilize them in our body. Um and when when you layer in the often higher levels of hormones um that a trans um person is optim is using to optimize their body, it's just such an individual picture. So yeah. Yeah. Hopefully the information you've got some information to go have that conversation now, helpful information to have that conversation. Yeah. Good.

Marni 1:09:45

Yeah, you've got so many, you've got so many products now. Um tell us about each one and what each one does.

Speaker 1 1:09:54

Um well our our our goal is always to focus on um you know uh skin, skin that's that's optimized and working really well. Um the silky peach cream has the estriol in it, um, which helps the skin stay supple and plump. Um, we have our progesterone cream, um, and that also has a lot of ingredients which are known for the antibacterial, for anti-inflammatory, for um, you know, for again for skin health in it. So that that's another skin cream that contains that progesterone. Um, we do have a DHEA cream, um, that's our rebounce. I'm interested. Um and we came up with that one because I'm like, it's me. I feel like a kangaroo again.

Speaker 6 1:10:44

I love that.

Speaker 1 1:10:45

Oh, rebouncing back. Um, and then we have a cream that's really good for a nighttime routine. You know, if it's been a really busy day, um, a lot going on, and the brain's just like and you're like, stop, stop, me all the time. So uh the the chaos calmer is is very good for incorporating into a nighttime routine, you know, or or or or during the day, you know, perhaps you know, one thing after another after another after another happens, and your brain's just like like a cartoon like steam. Um, that can help with that, um, sort of you know calming self-care. Um then we have our which is our um face and neck cream, um, which I absolutely love.

Marni 1:11:34

You look amazing, by the way. I just have to say, like seriously, you look amazing. So I uh tell us more about this, please, because I'm spending a lot of money on face creams at night.

Speaker 1 1:11:43

So our I've never been a really been a face cream person at all my whole life. Um, and yeah, once we brought more wow out, um, I just love how that feels on my skin. It's um I think we've had it out what three years now. Um, and I have just stuck with it. I just love the feel of it on the skin. And so, I mean, it seems to be working.

Speaker 4 1:12:08

It works. It would clearly work. I love it. I love it.

Speaker 1 1:12:15

And then um, so uh then the the last thing that we have on there is our um is uh it's not ours, but it's a product that we um can highly recommend, um, which is uh BioNube BioNude Lube by Um Good Clean Love. Um that company is really focused on producing products that really match the pH of the body. Um and also there's something called osmolity, osmolality rather. Um it's like the water quantity, water content um of your skin needs to match the lube that you're putting onto it. Otherwise, if it's if it's off, you've got to draw water one way or draw water the other way. So you you you need to kind of match it. Um and the buy-new lube, it's I mean it does. We we we did extensive research too, you know. It's it's it's a hard job working apart.

Speaker 1:13:18

Yeah, like all back. Oh, yeah, we know a lot about each other.

Speaker 1 1:13:23

More than you normally do in a work environment. I will say that.

Speaker 3 1:13:26

I feel like it's like gotta be like the best Monday morning meeting.

Speaker 1 1:13:30

Okay, everybody, bring your research to the table.

Speaker 4 1:13:34

My glasses just fell off my head. That's how hard I'm gonna. I'm gonna put my hat back on because I need something on top of my head. Go ahead. Oh my god, I love that. Does it spell that first? So, how do you what is that? How do you spell that?

Speaker 1 1:13:48

Uh it's on my nightstand over there. I can just spell it.

unknown 1:13:51

Let me go get that.

Speaker 4 1:13:52

Yes, go get it, go get it, go get it.

Marni 1:13:54

I love that. Oh my gosh. This is this is amazing. Like, I I love talking to people who know what they're talking about. I know.

Speaker 3 1:14:05

Yes. My mind is blown. Totally. All right, tell us, Kate.

Speaker 1 1:14:09

This is another woman-owned company. Um, so this is clean love. Yeah. So we're bio nude glue. Yeah, it's good for your skin. I mean, it's just really good for your skin. It just it and it really works for its purpose. Yes. So yeah. I'll take my hat off again.

Dom 1:14:27

I'm so excited for the dopamine hit I'm gonna get when I go online later and start shopping. I know.

Marni 1:14:36

What is the best thing ever? Like, I don't know about you, but like right as I'm falling asleep, I'm like, oh, I wonder, oh, I should buy that. With my ADHD, I don't remember what I've bought. So when it shows up, I'm like, oh, it's Christmas happen.

Dom 1:14:52

Meanwhile, my husband is like, Dominique. Another fucking box where it's 20 minutes.

Speaker 4 1:14:59

Oh my god, Ian and Johnny would have so much.

Speaker 1 1:15:02

He's made the stamp return to sender and it just like. I mean, you order the stuff, it doesn't arrive. He's intercepting it, he's sending it right back.

Dom 1:15:10

He's like, I don't know what happened. Did you put the right address in, Dominique? You've made that mistake before.

Marni 1:15:17

Oh, I love it. Um, do we know of anybody who's earned their white pants lately? Kate, do you know about the white pants party? Oh, let's talk about the white pants party. So um, we feel like, you know, as as other places, you know, give the shout out to birthdays like Smuckers has their thing on Good Morning America, where if you turn 100, you get a shout out. We think it should be a celebration when you hit your menopausal day, where it's like we should have everybody like put together a registry for the coolest white pants, white skirt, white sheets, like the light-colored stuff that you always were afraid you were going to accidentally stain and have a white pants party. And so the celebration of the menopausal anniversary is our white pants party. And so, like, I hit my I earned my white pants when I was 48 and Dom is waiting for her white pants party. I want my white pants so bad. So, do we know anybody recently? My sister, poor girl. I I just heard from her today, and she said, It's been 61 days, and I just started spotting. And like he was like, I was hoping. I was like, Oh, I'm done. My my longest stretch was nine months before I restarted the clock, and I was so mad. Um, but when I finally hit that white pants part party, I was like, I'm done.

Dom 1:16:48

Well, Kate, Kate, I believe you said in your intro that you're part of the club.

Speaker 1 1:16:53

Oh, yes, definitely. I mean, I was probably 52 when I had my last period. Oh well, or when I hit that. So 51 when I had my last period, like the mother of all periods. It's like I was draining, I don't know how many months worth. Um, seemed to last for days.

Speaker 6 1:17:11

Yeah.

Speaker 1 1:17:11

And then and you know, then you're just like, oh, okay, all right, start the clock. Um, so I was probably like 60, 52, and I'm 64 now, so you know. Oh, great. Yeah, to the to the um as our company was growing, um, you know, our our one of our early employees to help with packing was uh was Pat, who's in her 80s. I mean, this woman is incredible. And then Goldie joined us. She was she's in her 70s. Um, and it was quite a while before we had younger women on the team. And then all of a sudden, you know, one of them's like, Does anyone have a tampon? I'm like, Oh, there are all people in the world who still get a period. You forget, you do, you totally forget. I'm like, I must go to the store and get um you know, tampons and pads and have in the office. Like it was so long ago. Yeah.

Marni 1:18:17

My my husband's aunt, who's about seven years older than we are, uh, I was like, Oh, we're doing this podcast, you should come listen. She's like, I don't want to relive that. Thank you very much. And I'm like, fair, fair.

Speaker 1 1:18:35

Like thinking back to the things that you did in your teenage years, you're like, I am not that person, please don't bring it back. Please no. No more, no more.

Marni 1:18:44

Oh my god. Yeah. But yeah, do we have if if you listening have earned your white pants recently, or if you know somebody who has earned their white pants, please send us a shout out. First name and age is fine. Or if you just want to say anonymous, I earn why my my white pants, and I'm so excited, please send it to bitches in heat podcast at gmail.com and we will give you a shout out on the podcast. We are very excited for you and we think it should be celebrated. Awesome. Do we have any like books or articles or blogs that we want to uh recommend for this episode?

Dom 1:19:22

Well, I do believe, Marnie, when you were introducing Kate, that Kate wrote a book.

Speaker 1 1:19:28

She did write a book. Kate, will you tell us about your book, please? Um, yeah, this was a quest to translate science. Because what I was finding right is I was going to these you know medical conferences and I had been learning all this stuff, and I love science and I love to teach. I and I I I just want people to know that they have options. And so this book, uh, you know, um a forecast for health, understanding your potential for lifelong wellness, you know, it was really like trying to distill a lot of what I've been learning. So there's a chapter on sleep and the importance of sleep, and it goes into hormones, there's one chapter on nutrition, there's a a chapter on pain and inflammation, like really what's going on what's actually going on in the body, um, and and how can you inter, you know, uh interfere with it in a positive way. Um, exercise, and then the kind of chapter on stress as well. And um, you know, that starts with if there's one thing you're gonna take away from this book is that too much stress will kill you. Um and then the the last chapter is like readiness for change, um, because uh not every everyone can, you know, anybody can read information, but are you ready to make the changes that that help you you know stay and be healthy for a long, long, long time? I want to live till I'm in my 90s, but I want to be vibrant for that whole time. Um and I and I want that other people have the resources to be able to do that. So that's that's why I wrote that. It's and it's it's a it is a biochemistry book, but it's distilled biochemistry. Um, and I like to tell stories um when I write. And so I've tried to come at it from that point of view to kind of make it accessible. So but I I actually have a couple of um other books that I would love to mention to you. Yes, please do. Um so there's a book by um Tams and Fidel. Um how to menopause. Um I think and because she's you know, she's used to being in the limelight, she's she's really um stepping in and owning a space on this, and I you know highly want to support her in that work. Um there's uh um there's a book called uh Women Waking Up by Wendy Valentine. I don't know this. Um and I highly recommend that. Um again, it's she's got some step-by-steps in it's her story, um, which is you know very um very inspiring. Um, but she's got some steps in there to to help women uh who have felt um uh unable to act. And I think you know the steps that she puts in there helps people do that. Um and then I think it's uh Sarah Sarah Ridden Flawed, a woman's guide to pelvic floor health at every age and stage. So that one, as we were talking about earlier, you know, this this new knowledge of like, oh yes, and it's it's not just you know vagina health, it's bladder health too. So yeah. Um so those would be my thoughts.

Marni 1:22:35

Thank you for that.

Dom 1:22:36

I'm so excited.

Marni 1:22:38

Yes, but being that we are audiobook narrators, like a good book is like, oh please, yes. First hand, does your your book have an audiobook with it? Did you make it?

Speaker 1 1:22:51

You know, I did record it. Um and so here's the thing. One one thing I'm not, it's not I'm not much of a promoter, I'm the scientist. I it needs other people to come along and say, Oh yeah, I'll run with that. And um, I I did try some of that uh promotion for a while, but I'm like, oh no, I've done. I'm done.

Marni 1:23:14

Well, now you have a podcast that is hosted by audiobook narrators. We're saying go how to get the audiobook of Kate Wells. Um more time.

Speaker 1 1:23:27

Um, a forecast for health, understanding your potential for lifelong wellness. And people can email me. I've got copies. Um and uh I'm more than happy to awesome. Yeah, they can just um email me Kate at parlay-engames.com.

Marni 1:23:45

Kate at parlergames.com. That's amazing. So yeah, no, I'm totally gonna check out your your uh audiobook because I can't eyeball read anymore. I fall asleep. That's like my ADHD thing. It's like it's like hypnotism, right? It's like follow the bouncing.

Speaker 1 1:24:02

I'm trying to think, do I even have that available anymore? Um, I don't know. I'll have to go look. All right. And then the next are like, oh, and polygames are like, oh, that's it.

Marni 1:24:16

You know, all right. Well, we will link to it in the show notes if it is available. And and if it's not, we'll talk to Kate about getting it available. That's awesome. Oh my gosh. Dom, did you have anything to add to that?

Speaker 1:24:33

No. The woman is speechless for the first time I think.

Dom 1:24:43

You know, the one dumb's been drinking whiskey for the last hour and having had it.

Marni 1:24:49

We didn't talk about itchy ears. Does anybody have anything to help? Itchy ears. Like, that's like that's another dryness thing, right? Itchy ears has got to be dryness, isn't it? Yeah. Never heard of that one. No, no, it's a thing. Yeah, like yeah, we all have homework. And now we all have homework. So itchy ears, we'll find something for itchy ears. Like, uh, it's short of like sticking a q-tip in there and really like scratching away. Um, but yeah, it's it's the weirdest thing. Itchy ears. Anyway, but Kate, since we're wrapping up here, uh, what's a piece of advice or knowledge you could pass along to someone that either floored you when you found out or could make another Hottie's life better?

Speaker 1 1:25:38

Um don't be afraid to advocate for yourself, educate yourself and advocate for yourself because you are worth it. Thank you so much for that.

Dom 1:25:51

Yeah, yeah. Thank you so much for joining us, Kate. It's this is just a pleasure hanging out with you. You said you put a few women in a room together and you laugh, but you've also blown our minds with so many amazing nuggets that we're all away with.

Speaker 1 1:26:14

Yes. I'm glad it's been really helpful and it has been lovely. I mean, what a great way to spend my afternoons.

Marni 1:26:24

Thank you so much for coming on with us. And remember that we've got parlor hyphengames.com is where you can find Kate and all her products. Um, we will have a link in the show notes. That's going to be an affiliate link for all of you who are listening. Um, please also check out their podcast, Modern Menopause, because a lot of the things that we're talking about, they're also talking about over there, but from a very medical point of view, um, we do all the bitching and they do all the solution-based stuff. So definitely so good. It is so good. It's wonderful. And um, and so we want to, as always, send out our special thanks to our editor, John Detty, and to our Hotties in the chat.

Dom 1:27:12

Thank you so much for joining us today.

Marni 1:27:14

So, until next time, hotties, talk to each other because nobody else is going to. Bitches and Heat Podcast is a co-production of Marnie Perrin Nurration LLC and Dom Salvation. Dom and Marnie are not medical professionals, and their advice should not be construed as such. They're just a couple of middle-aged hotties bitching about perimetopause and everything that surrounds it. If you'd like to join us for a live recording, you can become a supporter of the podcast and check out our Hottie's merch at bitchesandheatpodcast.com. Make sure you add the word podcast, or you won't reach us. The other is a very different website. If you have a suggestion for a future podcast, write to us at bitchesandheatpodcast at gmail.com. Or if you just want Hottie's merch, go straight to shop.bitchesandheatpodcast.com. Our podcast is edited by John Detty of Detty Studios. Please note that no part of this audio may be used or reproduced in any manner for the purpose of training artificial intelligence technologies or systems. Copyright 2026, all rights reserved.